Everybody who assumed that "Dancing With the Stars" would be the ne plus ultra of Palin culture, settle down. You have not yet heard
, the new collaboration between author Nick Hornby and musician Ben Folds. Track three is "Levi Johnston's Blues," a song Folds has been playing for about a year, and these are the lyrics.
Woke up this morning, what do I see?
Three thousand cameras, pointing at me
Dude says, You Levi? I'm like, Yes that's me, sir!
"Well, you've knocked up the VP nominee's daughter"
So I tell him, No, you got it wrong, mister
Already with a girl, and her name's Bristol
They all laugh and say, Where you been, sonny?
Your mother-in-law's a heartbeat from the presidency
I say, Mother-in-law? No, we ain't getting married
They say, You will be soon, boy, she just announced it
I get on my dirt bike, ride to my girl's home
I'm gonna lay down the law, tell her what's going on
I'm a fuckin' redneck, I live to hang out with the boys
Play some hockey, do some fishing, kill some moose
I like to shoot the shit and do some chillin', I guess
Ya fuck with me and I'll kick your ass
So we talk and it turns out we don't believe in abortion
And sex outside marriage is against our religion
And when I try to tell them I'm eighteen years old
They say, Levi, it's too late, you gotta do as you're told
Johnston keeps getting the fame clock set back to 14:59, doesn't he? Audio:
TODAY IN SLATE
I was hit by a teacher in an East Texas public school. It taught me nothing.
Chief Justice John Roberts Says $1,000 Can’t Buy Influence in Congress. Looks Like He’s Wrong.
After This Merger, One Company Could Control One-Third of the Planet's Beer Sales
Hidden Messages in Corporate Logos
If You’re Outraged by the NFL, Follow This Satirical Blowhard on Twitter
Giving Up on Goodell
How the NFL lost the trust of its most loyal reporters.