Wayne Rooney Finally Ended His World Cup Scoring Drought. England Still Lost.

Slate's soccer blog.
June 19 2014 5:24 PM

Wayne Rooney Finally Ended His World Cup Scoring Drought. England Still Lost.

Wayne Rooney
Wayne Rooney celebrates scoring his first World Cup goal. England still lost.

Photo by Richard Heathcote/Getty Images

Midway through the second half of England’s match against Uruguay, Wayne Rooney was playing his usual World Cup role: scapegoat. After three misses from close in, ESPN’s Ian Darke ran down Rooney's ignominious World Cup record: three tournaments, 28 shots, eight on target, zero goals. Here at Slate, we were making plans for a sure-to-be viral video titled “Here Are All of Wayne Rooney's World Cup Misses.” The music playing in the background would be “Chances” by Hot Chocolate. It would be glorious.

And then, finally, Rooney scored. No viral video. No more monkey on his back. What we’re left with is the above compilation from the England-Uruguay match: a free kick that curved just wide, a header off the bar, a left-footed strike right at the goalkeeper, and—at last—one glorious tap-in.

Advertisement

Oh, and after Rooney’s long-awaited goal, World Cup jerk watch honoree Luis Suarez scored his second of the match, and England lost. Suarez was assisted on that goal by England's Steven Gerrard, who headed the ball back toward his own goal and directly in the path of the Uruguay player. So, blame that guy, English tabloids. I'm sure you will.

Josh Levin is Slate's executive editor.

TODAY IN SLATE

Medical Examiner

Here’s Where We Stand With Ebola

Even experienced international disaster responders are shocked at how bad it’s gotten.

It’s Legal for Obama to Bomb Syria Because He Says It Is

Divestment Is Fine but Mostly Symbolic. There’s a Better Way for Universities to Fight Climate Change.

I Stand With Emma Watson on Women’s Rights

Even though I know I’m going to get flak for it.

It Is Very Stupid to Compare Hope Solo to Ray Rice

Building a Better Workplace

In Defense of HR

Startups and small businesses shouldn’t skip over a human resources department.

Why Are Lighter-Skinned Latinos and Asians More Likely to Vote Republican?

How Ted Cruz and Scott Brown Misunderstand What It Means to Be an American Citizen

  News & Politics
Politics
Sept. 23 2014 12:43 PM Occupy Wall Street How can Hillary Clinton be both a limousine liberal and a Saul Alinsky radical?
  Business
Moneybox
Sept. 23 2014 2:08 PM Home Depot’s Former Head of Security Had a Legacy of Sabotage
  Life
Outward
Sept. 23 2014 1:57 PM Would A Second Sarkozy Presidency End Marriage Equality in France?
  Double X
The XX Factor
Sept. 23 2014 2:32 PM Politico Asks: Why Is Gabby Giffords So “Ruthless” on Gun Control?
  Slate Plus
Slate Plus
Sept. 22 2014 1:52 PM Tell Us What You Think About Slate Plus Help us improve our new membership program.
  Arts
Brow Beat
Sept. 23 2014 2:31 PM 3 Simpsons Showrunners Reflect on New Fans and the “Classic Era” Myth
  Technology
Future Tense
Sept. 23 2014 1:50 PM Oh, the Futility! Frogs Try to Catch Worms Off of an iPhone Video.
  Health & Science
Science
Sept. 23 2014 1:38 PM Why Is Fall Red in America but Yellow in Europe? A possible explanation, 35 million years in the making.
  Sports
Sports Nut
Sept. 18 2014 11:42 AM Grandmaster Clash One of the most amazing feats in chess history just happened, and no one noticed.