Bad News: A Florida Politician Figured Out Our Plan to Make All the Kids Gay

The Slatest
Your News Companion by Ben Mathis-Lilley
May 20 2014 5:52 PM

Bad News: A Florida Politician Figured Out Our Plan to Make All the Kids Gay

144070332
The Florida state capitol building rises behind the Florida Historic Capitol Museum.

Photo by Visions of America/UIG via Getty Images

Unfortunately, the ThinkProgress site reports, a Florida state representative from the Jacksonville area named Charles Van Zant has discovered our plan to make all the kids gay.

If you don't recall, or missed the big meeting, the plan is to use the Common Core—the controversial new set of education standards—to promote the ... gay ... because ... ah, I'll let Charles Van Zant explain.

Our new secretary of education in Florida recently appointed AIR [the American Institutes of Research] to receive the $220 million contract for end-of-course exam testing and to prepare those tests. Please, go on their website. Click the link to what they're doing with youth and you will see what their agenda really is. They are promoting, as hard as they can, any youth that is interested in the LGBT agenda, and even name it [sic] 2-S, which they define as having two spirits.
The Bible says a lot about being double-minded. These people that will now receive $220 million from the state of Florida, unless this is stopped, will promote double-mindedness in state education, and attract every one of your children to become as homosexual as they possibly can. I'm sorry to report that to you...I really hate to bring you that news.
But you need to know.
Advertisement

(AIR is an education nonprofit that will be conducting Common Core-related tests in 10 states and also researches and creates support materials for LGBT students.)

Busted!

We'll have to come up with a new plan to make all the kids gay.

Correction, May 21: This post originally and inaccurately described Common Core as a "federal" set of standards. Common Core standards have been adopted in 45 states but are not implemented by the federal government. The photo caption has been corrected to note that the current Florida Capitol is in the background, not the foreground, of the photo.

Ben Mathis-Lilley edits the Slatest. Follow @Slatest on Twitter.

  Slate Plus
Slate Picks
Dec. 17 2014 12:27 PM Listen to Our Ultimate Holiday Playlist Holiday tracks for the season, exclusively for Slate Plus members.