Christie Aide Uses Cornucopia of Vocabulary Words in Denying Bridgegate Role

The Slatest
Your News Companion by Ben Mathis-Lilley
May 13 2014 4:27 PM

Christie Aide Uses Truly Multitudinous Variety of Adjectives, Adverbs in Denying Bridgegate Role

462045115
Drewniak at a past appearance.

Photo by Erik Weber/Getty Images

Chris Christie spokersperson Michael Drewniak testified today in front of a New Jersey state legislative committee about the politically motivated, traffic-jam-inducing closure of entrance lanes to the George Washington Bridge in Fort Lee, New Jersey last fall. Drewniak said that neither he nor Christie knew about the closures before or during their implementation, a claim which is neither surprising nor, at this point, suspicious. (A lawyer for a fired Port Authority official says "evidence exists" that Christie knew about the plot, but no such evidence has actually surfaced.) The actual highlight of the testimony, it seems, was Drewniak's effusive, poetic, and splendid use of language. To wit, from the New York Times writeup:

- He was "shocked and disoriented" when he found out that political concerns had motivated the lane closures.

Advertisement

- It was was a "reckless and perplexing episode."

- The closures were "strange, unnecessary, and idiotic."

- He was lied to about the situation by people in whom he "badly, regrettably, even naïvely" misplaced his trust.

- His meeting with Christie to discuss the issue was "emotional and unforgettable." (This last one was an indirect quote from the Times, so he may not have used those specific words—but clearly, he evoked their feeling via lyrical discourse.)

Aides and surrogates who speak in memorable, original phrases—as opposed to aides and surrogates who speak in the phony alien cadence of a flight attendant reading from The Big Book of Clichés—are an underexploited commodity in politics, no? (Well, hmm, maybe not always.)

Ben Mathis-Lilley edits the Slatest. Follow @Slatest on Twitter.

TODAY IN SLATE

Technocracy

Forget Oculus Rift

This $25 cardboard box turns your phone into an incredibly fun virtual reality experience.

The Congressional Republican Digging Through Scientists’ Grant Proposals

Renée Zellweger’s New Face Is Too Real

Sleater-Kinney Was Once America’s Best Rock Band

Can it be again?

Whole Foods Is Desperate for Customers to Feel Warm and Fuzzy Again

The XX Factor

I’m 25. I Have $250.03.

My doctors want me to freeze my eggs.

The XX Factor
Oct. 20 2014 6:17 PM I’m 25. I Have $250.03. My doctors want me to freeze my eggs.
Politics

Smash and Grab

Will competitive Senate contests in Kansas and South Dakota lead to more late-breaking races in future elections?

George Tiller’s Murderer Threatens Another Abortion Provider, Claims Free Speech

These Companies in Japan Are More Than 1,000 Years Old

  News & Politics
The World
Oct. 21 2014 3:13 PM Why Countries Make Human Rights Pledges They Have No Intention of Honoring
  Business
Moneybox
Oct. 21 2014 4:33 PM Walmart Is Killing the Rest of Corporate America in Solar Power Adoption
  Life
The Vault
Oct. 21 2014 2:23 PM A Data-Packed Map of American Immigration in 1903
  Double X
The XX Factor
Oct. 21 2014 3:03 PM Renée Zellweger’s New Face Is Too Real
  Slate Plus
Behind the Scenes
Oct. 21 2014 1:02 PM Where Are Slate Plus Members From? This Weird Cartogram Explains. A weird-looking cartogram of Slate Plus memberships by state.
  Arts
Brow Beat
Oct. 21 2014 1:47 PM The Best Way to Fry an Egg
  Technology
Future Tense
Oct. 21 2014 4:14 PM Planet Money Uncovers One Surprising Reason the Internet Is Sexist
  Health & Science
Climate Desk
Oct. 21 2014 11:53 AM Taking Research for Granted Texas Republican Lamar Smith continues his crusade against independence in science.
  Sports
Sports Nut
Oct. 20 2014 5:09 PM Keepaway, on Three. Ready—Break! On his record-breaking touchdown pass, Peyton Manning couldn’t even leave the celebration to chance.