Starbucks Sends Cease and Desist Letter to Bar for “F Word” Beer, Owner Sends Back $6 Check and This…

The Slatest
Your News Companion by Ben Mathis-Lilley
Dec. 30 2013 8:14 PM

Starbucks Sends Cease and Desist Letter to Bar for “F Word” Beer, Owner Sends Back $6 Check and This Letter

98571828
A waitress takes a coffee and a beer to a table, try not to confuse the two.

Photo by RAUL ARBOLEDA/AFP/Getty Images

If you don’t know where Cottleville, Missouri is you’re probably not alone. But, that doesn’t mean that it’s out of reach from the long arm of the man. The proverbial man, in this case, is coffee behemoth Starbucks. The little guy: Cottleville’s own Exit 6 Pub and Brewery.

Most people, given it’s the holiday season, have probably been consumed with general merriment and cheer, but not Starbucks. Starbucks is watching. And, somewhat miraculously, came across the fact that Exit 6 was serving a stout called “Frappicino.” As Starbucks’ somewhat exhausted sounding cease and desist letter to the owner earlier this month points out: “As you probably know, Starbucks Coffee Co. is the owner of a number of world-famous trademarks, including the well-known FRAPPUCCINO trademark.” You can probably see where this is going. The letter goes on to point out that “Frappicino” and “Frappuccino” are spelled, you know, almost the same way and Starbucks is, of course, worried that patrons of Cottleville’s finest might get confused and think they were actually in a Starbucks.

Advertisement

In response, Exit 6 owner Jeff Britton, penned a perfectly sarcastic response. “I am writing in response to your letter dated 12/9/13 in regards to the ‘Frappuccino’ (at risk of further lawsuits, heretofore known as ‘The F Word’) beer listed on Untapped. As you probably don’t know, Exit 6 is the proud owner of no trademarks including our own name much less than the name ‘F Word’ and nothing about Exit 6 is incontestable,” the letter reads.

You can check out Britton’s full letter yourself, but here are a few more highlights.

“We never thought that our beer drinking customers would have thought that the alcoholic beverage coming out of the tap would have actually been coffee from one of the many, many, many stores located a few blocks away. I guess that with there being a Starbucks on every corner of every block in every city that some people may think they could get a Starbucks at a local bar. So that was our mistake.”

The faux apology ends with Britton writing a $6 check to refund Starbucks for the three beers it had sold using, ahem, the “F Word.” And with a final flourish Britton asks: “PS – Can we name the beer Phrappaccino?"

Elliot Hannon is a writer in Washington, D.C. Follow him on Twitter.

TODAY IN SLATE

Politics

Smash and Grab

Will competitive Senate contests in Kansas and South Dakota lead to more late-breaking races in future elections?

I Am 25. I Don’t Work at Facebook. My Doctors Want Me to Freeze My Eggs.

The XX Factor
Oct. 20 2014 6:17 PM I Am 25. I Don’t Work at Facebook. My Doctors Want Me to Freeze My Eggs.

Republicans Want the Government to Listen to the American Public on Ebola. That’s a Horrible Idea.

The Most Ingenious Teaching Device Ever Invented

Tom Hanks Has a Short Story in the New Yorker. It’s Not Good.

Brow Beat

Marvel’s Civil War Is a Far-Right Paranoid Fantasy

It’s also a mess. Can the movies do better?

Watching Netflix in Bed. Hanging Bananas. Is There Anything These Hooks Can’t Solve?

The Procedural Rule That Could Prevent Gay Marriage From Reaching SCOTUS Again

  News & Politics
Politics
Oct. 20 2014 8:14 PM You Should Be Optimistic About Ebola Don’t panic. Here are all the signs that the U.S. is containing the disease.
  Business
Moneybox
Oct. 20 2014 6:48 PM Apple: Still Enormously Profitable
  Life
Outward
Oct. 20 2014 3:16 PM The Catholic Church Is Changing, and Celibate Gays Are Leading the Way
  Double X
The XX Factor
Oct. 20 2014 1:10 PM Women Are Still Losing Jobs for Getting Pregnant
  Slate Plus
Tv Club
Oct. 20 2014 7:15 AM The Slate Doctor Who Podcast: Episode 9 A spoiler-filled discussion of "Flatline."
  Arts
Brow Beat
Oct. 20 2014 9:13 PM The Smart, Talented, and Utterly Hilarious Leslie Jones Is SNL’s Newest Cast Member
  Technology
Future Tense
Oct. 20 2014 4:59 PM Canadian Town Cancels Outdoor Halloween Because Polar Bears
  Health & Science
Medical Examiner
Oct. 20 2014 11:46 AM Is Anybody Watching My Do-Gooding? The difference between being a hero and being an altruist.
  Sports
Sports Nut
Oct. 16 2014 2:03 PM Oh What a Relief It Is How the rise of the bullpen has changed baseball.