Rush Limbaugh announced today that he's trying his hand at writing a children's book, one that he promises will set "the record straight on American history," particularly when it comes to the Pilgrims who came over on the Mayflower. Of course, in Limbaugh's version of Thanksgiving, there's apparently a time-traveling middle school teacher who conveniently shares a name and likeness of the character he uses to sell his Tea Party-inspired branded beverages. (He appears to be taking a page out of Mike Huckabee's book—or more specifically, cartoon—when it comes to using time travel as a plot device.)
Here's the summary of Rush Revere and the Brave Pilgrims: Time-Travel Adventures with Exceptional Americans, via Amazon:
"Nationally syndicated radio talk-show host Rush Limbaugh has long wanted to make American history come to life for the children of his listeners, so he created the character of a fearless middle-school history teacher named Rush Revere, who travels back in time and experiences American history as it happens, in adventures with exceptional Americans. In this book, he is transported back to the deck of the Mayflower."
And a little more from Rush himself:
"This country is made up of exceptional people and stories of rags to riches. They made it with hard work, determination, a little luck, and God's grace. So in Rush Revere and the Brave Pilgrims, we have brought to life our loving character from Two If By Tea, Rush Revere. We've given him a horse. We've given him a talking horse! Liberty talks. Liberty has the ability to time travel. So in this book, Rush Revere and Liberty will go to the Mayflower and talk to the Pilgrims aboard the Mayflower as they're sailing to what will become America. ...
"Again it is a unique way of reaching the target audience here, which is America's young people—who are, sadly, not being taught what is in this book. And what's in this book is the historical record, accurate historical record of the Pilgrims. It's who they were, why they existed, where they were, how they got here, what they did when they got here, and what they did and why it mattered and related to the founding of this country."
Limbaugh made sure to stress that his book—one he hopes will be the first in a series—has no political agenda. "The true story of Thanksgiving," he promised listeners today. "There's no politics in this." That's obviously somewhat difficult to believe, in no small part because Limbaugh's told his version of the Thanksgiving story before. Last year, for instance, he concluded his retelling like so: "The true story of Thanksgiving is how socialism failed. With all the great expectations and high hopes, it failed. And self-reliance, rugged individualism, free enterprise, whatever you call it, resulted in prosperity that they never dreamed of."