The Iron is dead. Long live the Cat.
Hasbro this morning announced the winner and loser of its online contest to replace an existing Monopoly piece with a new token. The company left things up to fans via a Facebook vote, so it should come as no surprise that the feline-loving Internet opted for the piece that it did. (To say nothing of the fact that cats are evil, cold-blooded killers bent on world domination.) The loser—along with America in general—was the lowly iron. The Associated Press with the details of the final vote:
The results were announced after the shoe, wheelbarrow and iron were neck and neck for elimination in the final hours of voting that sparked passionate efforts by fans to save their favorite tokens, and by businesses eager to capitalize on publicity surrounding pieces that represent their products.
The vote on Facebook closed just before midnight on Tuesday, marking the first time that fans have had a say on which of the eight tokens to add and which one to toss. The pieces identify the players and have changed quite a lot since Parker Brothers bought the game from its original designer in 1935.
The cat has no name, but it's unlikely to be mistaken for a stray given the sizable bling on its collar. The new token is likely to quickly assume the role of the Scottie Dog's rival. The pooch earned 29 percent of the vote, meaning its fate, along with the other accoutrements of the 1 percent, was never really in question. The cat, meanwhile, earned 31 percent of votes for the new tokens. It beat out a robot, a diamond ring, a helicopter, and a guitar. The other survivors were the race car, shoe, thimble, top hat, wheelbarrow, and battleship.
For those who missed them the first time: Check out Lowen Liu's explanation of why the new token will ruin the game, and quite possibly the country; read Laura Helmuth's explanation of why we'd all be better off without house cats; or watch "Slate V's" Monopoly parody video below:
TODAY IN SLATE
The Self-Made Man
The story of America’s most pliable, pernicious, irrepressible myth.
Michigan’s Tradition of Football “Toughness” Needs to Go—Starting With Coach Hoke
Does Your Child Have “Sluggish Cognitive Tempo”? Or Is That Just a Disorder Made Up to Scare You?
The First Case of Ebola in America Has Been Diagnosed in Dallas
Why Indians in America Are Mad for India’s New Prime Minister
Now Stare. Don’t Stop.
The perfect political wife’s loving gaze in campaign ads.
You Deserve a Pre-cation
The smartest job perk you’ve never heard of.