The Eye

This Christmas, Men Are Glitter-Bombing Their Beards  

Best friends Brian and Johnathan of the Gay Beards want you to glitter-bomb your ironic facial hair in the spirit of the holiday season.

Photo by Raegan Swanson Photography/Courtesy of the Gay Beards

Beard baubles are so last year. This year, hirsute hipsters too cool for ugly Christmas sweaters have decided to pay tribute to the spirit of the holidays by glitter-bombing their beards.

This aggressively attention-seeking assault on dignity, complete with an Instagram hashtag, has otherwise been glitter-bombing its way around the Internet, inspiring Out magazine to run the op-ed “Understanding the Glitter Beard” (“the general conversation mistakes the affect for a fad instead of understanding it as a commentary” on conventional standards of manhood, it earnestly argues), itself a defense against Esquire’s plea that the glitter bearding of ironic facial hair is a thing that must be stopped.

Below, a so-called tutorial for achieving glitter beard from Brian and Johnathan, the Portland, Oregon–based bearded best friends known as the Gay Beards, whose technique will in no way spare glitter-beard enthusiasts from leaving a trail of sparkly dandruff in their wake.