Breaking Almost-News: Barry Bonds Is [GUILTY/NOT GUILTY TK]

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April 13 2011 4:39 PM

Breaking Almost-News: Barry Bonds Is [GUILTY/NOT GUILTY TK]

Is there a lower point in the Continuous News Cycle than the moment when the news moves that something has happened, but nobody knows what it is? NBC Bay Area just posted a 150-plus-word story saying that there is a verdict in the Barry Bonds trial . What does the jury—a "group of four men and eight woman" [sic]—have to say? Nothing yet!

UPDATE: Now various Twitter posts say there is no verdict after all. OK, that is the very lowest point in the news cycle. 

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UPDATE TO UPDATE: Twitter is now unable to decide whether the jury has reached a partial verdict or whether it "may have reached" a partial verdict. 

UPDATE TO UPDATE OF UPDATE: Guilty of one count of obstruction of justice. Hung on the remaining counts. Also a Twitter-bot says Vietnamese bonds are a good investment.

Tom Scocca is the managing editor of Deadspin and the author of Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future.

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