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Even Bill Simmons Wants Bill Simmons to Shut Up

Now that it is actually possible for some team to sign LeBron James to a new contract, ESPN’s Sports Guy, Bill Simmons, has something to say to all members of the yapping sports media:

I’m tired of wondering where LeBron, Wade, Nowitzki and everyone else will land. I’m even more tired of people reporting about things that might happen, could happen or seem likely to happen. Just tell me when they happen. Thanks.

Previous works in the Sports Guy archive :

. ..Michael Wilbon, Tony Kornheiser, Dan Le Batard and Bill Simmons look ahead to the free agency period in… Audio PodCast | June 30, 2010

NBA writers’ summit: Who’s going where? Bill Simmons, Michael Wilbon, Dan Le Batard and Tony Kornheiser…Blog | June 30, 2010

Dan Le Batard and Bill Simmons weigh-in on the likelihood that LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh will all end up playing for Miami next season. Video | June 29, 2010

The Herd With Colin Cowherd …He also looks at LeBron James’ future with Bill Simmons. Audio PodCast | May 17, 2010

Winning, loyalty or immortality? Bill Simmons, ESPN.com. As LeBron James proved to be more Julius Erving 2.0 than Michael Jordan, he now faces his big choice: Winning (the Bulls), loyalty (the Cavs) or a chance at immortality (the Knicks)? Story | May 14, 2010

And his Twitter feed ?

Our pal Windhorst is killing it at @ PDcavsinsider w/ running updates about LBJ’s meetings. Think he’s hiding in LeBron’s guest bathroom.

Breaking news, no joking around: Just found out where LeBron and Bosh are going. So it looks like they’re both getting max contracts with th

Over. I predict July 14th (day of ESPYs, no sports going on) and Chicago. RT @ LScott285 : over/under July 8th when LBJ commits?

16 hours until NBA D-Day. Hey @ dmorey - are you going to show up at Marcin Gortat’s house at 12:01am again? It’s tradition!

Full episode of our ESPN/NBA Free Agent Summit (LeBatard, Tony K, Wilbon & me) now online: http://tinyurl.com/38xs77n

48 hrs ago: sportsbook.com had LeBron at +125 to sign w/ Bulls. Bosh was +300. Now? They’re both -500. Hmmmmmm.

No wonder he’s tired! Next week: the Sports Guy comes out against incompetent NFL picks and the overuse of analogies comparing sports figures to porn stars .