What’s it like to work as a dominatrix?

What’s It Like to Work as a Dominatrix?

What’s It Like to Work as a Dominatrix?

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May 19 2015 7:11 AM

What’s It Like to Work as a Dominatrix?

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A dominatrix at a dungeon party at DomConLA in May 11, 2013, in Los Angeles.

Photo by David McNew/Getty Images

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Answer by Dirk Hooper, fine art fetish photographer, BDSM mentor, and journalist for the BDSM community:

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I've been a proud member of the BDSM community for more than 20 years. I've served as a full-time slave to two professional dominatrixes (lived with one of them). My best friend is a professional dominatrix, and I've done either professional photography, Web design or marketing for dozens of other professional and lifestyle dominatrixes.

I have been around enough dominatrixes to provide an impartial view of what their day-to-day lives are like.

Much like a freelance photographer, designer, or writer, a professional dominatrix makes her own hours. Just like everyone else, commitments like kids, classes, relationships, bills, etc., will determine if she gets up early or sleeps in. In most cases a professional dominatrix will have set hours to conduct business that corresponds with her other obligations.

Clients/submissives usually want their attention 24-7, but dominatrixes soon learn that they have to restrict this time or they will never get anything else done. If they work in a professional dungeon, their work hours are usually set for them—otherwise it could literally be anytime, day or night.

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A large chunk of daily time is spent on a computer writing ads, answering emails, sharing content, and scheduling sessions. One thing I've noticed about the most successful professional dominatrixes is that they are exceptionally organized. Just like anyone who does freelance work, if you're not organized, you'll get buried and miss important events.

Most professional dominatrixes spend some time creating content to feed to social networks and post on their websites. While this won't happen every day, it's something that will happen often. Fans are hungry for constant content! Some dominatrixes share selfies daily, while others go into professional studios to do large-scale shoots and video projects. Others spend time writing blog posts or on chat lines to generate interest or to monetize their time.

Yes, professional dominatrixes spend some of their days in dungeons. And yes, they spank, humiliate, and bind people for money. While some dominatrixes have a full schedule of dungeon time every day, most will only work a few hours per day or every few days.

It's so important to note that the actual time a dominatrix spends in a session is only a fraction of the time it takes to pull it off. Dominatrixes can spend a considerable amount of time:

  • getting dressed to impress
  • planning the session
  • getting all the materials together to conduct the scene
  • getting in the right frame of mind
  • winding down after a session
  • cleaning up
  • getting some rest before the next session

Every dominatrix I've known works very hard to craft scenes, stay in shape, and keep up with networking. They play hard too though. Since they make their own schedules, they plan and enjoy their free time. Dominatrixes are innately free-spirited, and they make the most of the extra time their freelance jobs allow. If she is a lifestyle dominatrix, she may have some time to play with personal slaves or attend a community event. Other dominatrixes will use that extra time to relax, or travel, hang with friends, read, party, or catch up on some Netflix binging.

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