In his days as Microsoft CEO, Steve Ballmer probably became better known for his public speaking style than his business vision. Booming, peripatetic, a bit rambly—when the man gets in front of a crowd, it's like watching a crazed Little League coach rev up a locker room after one too many Red Bulls. Except that coach is actually an eccentric billionaire. Doesn't matter if he's talking to a bunch of programmers or at a college commencement, the man always takes it to 11.
Which is why he'll probably make a sort of delightful owner for the Los Angeles Clippers. Yesterday, Ballmer delivered one of his trademark performances while officially introducing himself to fans during a pep rally at the Staples Center. It was everything you hoped. Business Insider pulls a particularly great line:
We're going to be hardcore. HARDcore. HARDCORE! We're going to get better everyday. We're going to be tenacious. Something knocks us down and we're going to get back and keep coming and coming and coming and coming. Did you watch these guys? That was hardcore! Hardcore baby! Nothing gets in our way, BOOM! Keep coming. HARDcore. The HARDCORE Clippers, that's us.
Watch for the baffled and amused look on Blake Griffin's face. Watch because the world is awful right now, and Steve Ballmer will cheer you up. Really, the guy needs to give a pep rally for America.
TODAY IN SLATE
Blacks Don’t Have a Corporal Punishment Problem
I Bought the Huge iPhone. I’m Already Thinking of Returning It.
Scotland Is Just the Beginning. Expect More Political Earthquakes in Europe.
Lifetime Didn’t Think the Steubenville Rape Case Was Dramatic Enough
So they added a little self-immolation.
Two Damn Good, Very Different Movies About Soldiers Returning From War
The Most Terrifying Thing About Ebola
The disease threatens humanity by preying on humanity.