JamesEdition—the billionaires' version of eBay—is auctioning off a chance to connect with your inner Scrooge McDuck by lounging in a bank vault filled with currency. The vault in Basel, Switzerland, is filled with 8 million real Swiss coins, which works out to roughly $450,000.
Here are some intrepid vault laborers shoveling the money:
Gizmodo thrilled at the JamesEdition listing, saying it would "fulfill every person's childhood (and adult) dream of swimming in money." Sorry to be a killjoy, but as much fun as it sounds, attempting to swim in 15 tons of Swiss doubloons would be extremely painful at best, and potentially life-threatening at worst. (Now, using that money to fill a swimming pool with cornstarch or spaghetti would be a much more reasonable, enjoyable alternative).
We are only human beings, and unfortunately cartoon physics don't apply to us. The Billfold's Matt Powers has put McDuck's wealth at $210 billion—making the Disney 'toon $137 billion richer than Carlos Slim Helú. It's time to accept the fact that Scrooge McDuck will always have it better than we do.
TODAY IN SLATE
Black people’s disdain for “proper English” and academic achievement is a myth.
Alabama’s Insane New Abortion Law Gives Fetuses Lawyers and Puts Teenage Girls on Trial
Tattoo Parlors Have Become a Great Investment
A Jaw-Dropping Political Ad Aimed at Young Women, Apparently
Big Problems With the Secret Service Were Reported Last Year. Nobody Cared.
Beautiful, sexy, and fascinatingly mean.