Cristiano Ronaldo Wants You to Buy This Mouth-Strengthening Gadget

The Citizen's Guide to the Future
Aug. 7 2014 12:00 PM

Cristiano Ronaldo Wants You to Buy This Mouth-Strengthening Gadget

face
Ronaldo sports his face strengthener, which kind of looks like a hang gliding drone. But isn't.

Image from MTG.

We’re all kind of over As Seen on TV products, right? You can only get so much comedic mileage out of the Clapper.

But soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo is currently endorsing a Japanese face-strengthening product (what?) that is a genuinely hilarious gadget.

Advertisement

“In my everyday training sessions, there is one area of my body that I hadn’t been exercising: my facial muscles. That is, until I discovered PAO,” Ronaldo explains. Though he's never really shown using the product himself, lots of happy testers in the ad below, cheerfully work out those notoriously tough-to-tone face muscles. Come on, people, it’s beach season!

PAO Facial Fitness, which sort of looks like a drone/sex toy hybrid, is packed with all the technology you need to deal with problem areas on your face. It even has “43 degrees of swing.” As Businessweek points out, Ronaldo seems to be getting in on every endorsement deal he possibly can, so he probably wasn’t too choosy about signing on for PAO. Everyone should be glad he did, though, because otherwise we might not know that a fun facial workout even existed.

Future Tense is a partnership of SlateNew America, and Arizona State University.

Lily Hay Newman is lead blogger for Future Tense.

TODAY IN SLATE

Medical Examiner

The Most Terrifying Thing About Ebola 

The disease threatens humanity by preying on humanity.

I Bought the Huge iPhone. I’m Already Thinking of Returning It.

Scotland Is Just the Beginning. Expect More Political Earthquakes in Europe.

Students Aren’t Going to College Football Games as Much Anymore

And schools are getting worried.

Global Marches Demand Action on Climate Change

Politics

Blacks Don’t Have a Corporal Punishment Problem

Americans do. But when blacks exhibit the same behaviors as others, it becomes part of a greater black pathology. 

Why a Sketch of Chelsea Manning Is Stirring Up Controversy

How Worried Should Poland, the Baltic States, and Georgia Be About a Russian Invasion?

  News & Politics
Weigel
Sept. 20 2014 11:13 AM -30-
  Business
Business Insider
Sept. 20 2014 6:30 AM The Man Making Bill Gates Richer
  Life
Quora
Sept. 20 2014 7:27 AM How Do Plants Grow Aboard the International Space Station?
  Double X
The XX Factor
Sept. 19 2014 4:58 PM Steubenville Gets the Lifetime Treatment (And a Cheerleader Erupts Into Flames)
  Slate Plus
Tv Club
Sept. 21 2014 1:15 PM The Slate Doctor Who Podcast: Episode 5  A spoiler-filled discussion of "Time Heist."
  Arts
Television
Sept. 21 2014 9:00 PM Attractive People Being Funny While Doing Amusing and Sometimes Romantic Things Don’t dismiss it. Friends was a truly great show.
  Technology
Future Tense
Sept. 19 2014 6:31 PM The One Big Problem With the Enormous New iPhone
  Health & Science
Bad Astronomy
Sept. 21 2014 8:00 AM An Astronaut’s Guided Video Tour of Earth
  Sports
Sports Nut
Sept. 18 2014 11:42 AM Grandmaster Clash One of the most amazing feats in chess history just happened, and no one noticed.