Cowabunga, Dude! Pizza Hut Is Making a Real-Life Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pizza Thrower

The Citizen's Guide to the Future
July 24 2014 4:01 PM

Pizza Hut Is Making a Real-Life TMNT Pizza Thrower, and It Sounds Awesome

pizzathrower
Be still, my 9-year-old heart.

Courtesty of Pizza Hut.

Just when I thought Michael Bay was going to irredeemably desecrate the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles of my childhood in one fell, explosion-laden swoop, in comes the unlikeliest of heroes to save the day. Pizza Hut—the cheese-in-crust purveyors and, now, my favorite company in the world—is making a real-life version of the Turtles' iconic pizza thrower. 

Per the Hollywood Reporter, the life-size model of the Best Toy Ever is being constructed by Syyn Labs, as a part of a promotional partnership between Paramount Pictures and the global pizza chain. Featuring a 16-foot-long rotating cannon, the TMNT vehicle will debut at this year's Comic-Con, where it will delight fanboys and girls in attendance by shooting (fake) pizzas at the enemies of Michelangelo and Co. If the thought of that doesn't bring back memories of the countless afternoons spent firing half-dollar-sized discs at your pets and siblings, then I don't know what will.

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Of course, in the grand scheme of food-based technology, this pales in comparison to things like the NASA-funded pizza-making 3-D printers. The pizzas here are fake and, well, NASA is 3-D printing food. But in a universe in which we're on the verge of the Ninja Turtles being Michael Bay'd, it's one of the coolest things that I've seen in a long time. Cowabunga, indeed.

Future Tense is a partnership of SlateNew America, and Arizona State University.

A.J. McCarthy is a Slate video blogger.

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