Microsoft Has a New CEO! And He Loves Exclamation Points!

Future Tense
The Citizen's Guide to the Future
Feb. 4 2014 4:30 PM

Microsoft Has a New CEO! And He Loves Exclamation Points!

Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella in a hoodie
Satya Nadella in a hoodie—what fun!

Handout

Microsoft on Tuesday named its new chief: Satya Nadella, a company stalwart who previously headed its Cloud and Enterprise group. Nadella becomes the company’s third CEO, after Bill Gates and the retiring Steve Ballmer, who had led Microsoft for the past 13 years. Gates, meanwhile, will move from his position as board chair to a new role as “founder and technology advisor.”

Will Oremus Will Oremus

Will Oremus is Slate's senior technology writer.

At first blush, the 46-year-old Nadella would appear to share in common with his predecessor a predilection for jargon, cliché, and gratuitous superlatives. In an impressively substance-free email to employees Tuesday, Nadella called it “a very humbling day for me” and “an incredible honor,” and revealed that “like anyone else, a lot of what I do and how I think has been shaped by my family and my overall life experiences.” Microsoft, he opined, is “the best company in the world,” “”one of the greatest and most universally admired companies in the world,” and “uniquely empowers people to ‘do more.’” And, of course, “devices and services” play a prominent role in Nadella’s welcome address.

Advertisement

So did he break Steve Ballmer’s record for most buzzwords in a single document? Not quite, but it was close. Nor could he match his predecessor's knack for always using three words where one would suffice. 

Where Nadella’s prose really breaks from the Ballmer tradition, however, is in sentence length and choice of punctuation. Whereas Ballmer has no problem piling dependent clause upon dependent clause until his sentences resemble Jenga towers, Nadella favors declaratives. “Today is a very humbling day for me," he writes. "It reminds me of my very first day at Microsoft, 22 years ago. Like you, I had a choice about where to come to work. I came here because I believed Microsoft was the best company in the world.” Strunk and White would be proud.

It’s on Twitter where Nadella’s (relative) youthful exuberance shines brightest. The man hasn’t tweeted in nearly four years, and his full Twitter oeuvre comprises just 25 updates. Yet he managed to pack into those bursts a staggering ratio of exclamation points to actual words. Behold the boundless enthusiasm:

Satya Nadella Twitter: @satyanadella
Everything is exciting when you're Satya Nadella!

Screenshot / Twitter

Perhaps my favorite is this one, in which the endearingly naive Nadella appears to genuinely believe that his company is on the verge of coming out with a viable social-media product:

Coders, meanwhile, can revel in the new executive’s evident affinity for the latest markup language:

Not to mention his ability to refactor spaghetti!

For a short time on Tuesday morning, some tweeters were taken in by a fake Satya Nadella. It soon became clear, however, that @satyanadeiia was no substitute for the real deal.

Congratulations, Mr. Nadella, and may you find your tenure at the top of the world’s most bloated tech company every bit as “empowering,” “amazing,” “incredible,” “magical,” and, um, “high-value” as you’ve always dreamed.

Previously in Slate:

Future Tense is a partnership of SlateNew America, and Arizona State University.

TODAY IN SLATE

Politics

Smash and Grab

Will competitive Senate contests in Kansas and South Dakota lead to more late-breaking races in future elections?

Stop Panicking. America Is Now in Very Good Shape to Respond to the Ebola Crisis.

The 2014 Kansas City Royals Show the Value of Building a Mediocre Baseball Team

The GOP Won’t Win Any Black Votes With Its New “Willie Horton” Ad

Sleater-Kinney Was Once America’s Best Rock Band

Can it be again?

Technocracy

Forget Oculus Rift

This $25 cardboard box turns your phone into an incredibly fun virtual reality experience.

One of Putin’s Favorite Oligarchs Wants to Start an Orthodox Christian Fox News

These Companies in Japan Are More Than 1,000 Years Old

Trending News Channel
Oct. 20 2014 6:17 PM Watch Flashes of Lightning Created in a Lab  
  News & Politics
Politics
Oct. 20 2014 8:14 PM You Should Be Optimistic About Ebola Don’t panic. Here are all the signs that the U.S. is containing the disease.
  Business
Moneybox
Oct. 20 2014 7:23 PM Chipotle’s Magical Burrito Empire Keeps Growing, Might Be Slowing
  Life
Outward
Oct. 20 2014 3:16 PM The Catholic Church Is Changing, and Celibate Gays Are Leading the Way
  Double X
The XX Factor
Oct. 20 2014 6:17 PM I Am 25. I Don't Work at Facebook. My Doctors Want Me to Freeze My Eggs.
  Slate Plus
Tv Club
Oct. 20 2014 7:15 AM The Slate Doctor Who Podcast: Episode 9 A spoiler-filled discussion of "Flatline."
  Arts
Brow Beat
Oct. 20 2014 9:13 PM The Smart, Talented, and Utterly Hilarious Leslie Jones Is SNL’s Newest Cast Member
  Technology
Technocracy
Oct. 20 2014 11:36 PM Forget Oculus Rift This $25 cardboard box turns your phone into an incredibly fun virtual-reality experience.
  Health & Science
Medical Examiner
Oct. 20 2014 11:46 AM Is Anybody Watching My Do-Gooding? The difference between being a hero and being an altruist.
  Sports
Sports Nut
Oct. 20 2014 5:09 PM Keepaway, on Three. Ready—Break! On his record-breaking touchdown pass, Peyton Manning couldn’t even leave the celebration to chance.