1. We’re very confident that we’re good at a lot of things. We’re just not quite sure what they are.
2. We treat women so unequally in the workplace that they’re starting to form support groups.
3. We have wimpy kids.
4. We like history, as long as long as it deifies our forefathers and justifies American exceptionalism.
5. We’re desperate for guidance from Jesus, even if it’s just an author named Sarah Young pretending to be Jesus.
6. We prefer Dan Brown's Inferno to Dante’s Inferno.
7. We really miss Harry Potter.
8. We’ll tolerate the occasional work of actual literature as long as it’s super-short and there’s a movie.
9. We still like to be told what matters by very serious old white men in blazers.
10. We like science, as long as it proves that heaven is real.
11. We’re pretty sure Jesus was a Tea Partier.
12. We strongly suspect that something’s wrong with us. We’re just not quite sure what it is.
TODAY IN SLATE
Smash and Grab
Will competitive Senate contests in Kansas and South Dakota lead to more late-breaking races in future elections?
Even When They Go to College, the Poor Sometimes Stay Poor
Republicans Want the Government to Listen to the American Public on Ebola. That’s a Horrible Idea.
The Most Ingenious Teaching Device Ever Invented
Tom Hanks Has a Short Story in The New Yorker. It’s Not Good.
Marvel’s Civil War Is a Far-Right Paranoid Fantasy
It’s also a mess. Can the movies do better?
An All-Female Mission to Mars
As a NASA guinea pig, I verified that women would be cheaper to launch than men.