1. We’re very confident that we’re good at a lot of things. We’re just not quite sure what they are.
2. We treat women so unequally in the workplace that they’re starting to form support groups.
3. We have wimpy kids.
4. We like history, as long as long as it deifies our forefathers and justifies American exceptionalism.
5. We’re desperate for guidance from Jesus, even if it’s just an author named Sarah Young pretending to be Jesus.
6. We prefer Dan Brown's Inferno to Dante’s Inferno.
7. We really miss Harry Potter.
8. We’ll tolerate the occasional work of actual literature as long as it’s super-short and there’s a movie.
9. We still like to be told what matters by very serious old white men in blazers.
10. We like science, as long as it proves that heaven is real.
11. We’re pretty sure Jesus was a Tea Partier.
12. We strongly suspect that something’s wrong with us. We’re just not quite sure what it is.
TODAY IN SLATE
The Democrats’ War at Home
How can the president’s party defend itself from the president’s foreign policy blunders?
Why Time Is on Our Side in the Fight Against Ebola
Piper Kerman on Why She Dressed Like a Hitchcock Heroine for Her Prison Sentencing
Catacombs Where You Can Stroll Down Hallways Lined With Corpses
Homeland Is Good Again! For Now.
Cringing. Ducking. Mumbling.
How GOP candidates react whenever someone brings up reproductive rights or gay marriage.
How Even an Old Hipster Can Age Gracefully
On their new albums, Leonard Cohen, Robert Plant, and Loudon Wainwright III show three ways.