1. We’re very confident that we’re good at a lot of things. We’re just not quite sure what they are.
2. We treat women so unequally in the workplace that they’re starting to form support groups.
3. We have wimpy kids.
4. We like history, as long as long as it deifies our forefathers and justifies American exceptionalism.
5. We’re desperate for guidance from Jesus, even if it’s just an author named Sarah Young pretending to be Jesus.
6. We prefer Dan Brown's Inferno to Dante’s Inferno.
7. We really miss Harry Potter.
8. We’ll tolerate the occasional work of actual literature as long as it’s super-short and there’s a movie.
9. We still like to be told what matters by very serious old white men in blazers.
10. We like science, as long as it proves that heaven is real.
11. We’re pretty sure Jesus was a Tea Partier.
12. We strongly suspect that something’s wrong with us. We’re just not quite sure what it is.
TODAY IN SLATE
The Budget Disaster that Sabotaged the WHO’s Response to Ebola
How Movies Like Contagion and Outbreak Distort Our Response to Real Epidemics
PowerPoint Is the Worst, and Now It’s the Latest Way to Hack Into Your Computer
Everything You Should Know About Today’s Eclipse
An Unscientific Ranking of Really, Really Old German Beers
Welcome to 13th Grade!
Some high schools are offering a fifth year. That’s a great idea.
The Actual World
“Mount Thoreau” and the naming of things in the wilderness.