If Tech Companies Were Ice Cream Flavors

The Citizen's Guide to the Future
Sept. 6 2013 3:31 PM

If Tech Companies Were Ice Cream Flavors

A Croatian ice cream shop came up with a flavor called Facebook. It's drenched in blue syrup.
A Croatian ice cream shop came up with a flavor called Facebook. It's drenched in blue syrup.

Screenshot / Facebook

A Croatian ice cream shop has a new hit flavor: Facebook. The site 24sata reports that one of the shop's owners came up with the concept after observing that his 15-year-old daughter was obsessed with the social network. The ice cream looks and tastes pretty much how you'd expect: blue, syrupy, and saccharine. Customers can't get enough.

Will Oremus Will Oremus

Will Oremus is Slate's senior technology writer.

Tech-themed ice cream flavors aren't entirely new. In 2010 the Cambridge, Mass. shop Toscanini's served up dollops of "Internet" ice cream. It was vanilla mixed with nerds. The Facebook flavor sounds like a trademark smackdown waiting to happen, but it got us thinking: What would other tech companies taste like if they were ice creams? Here's what we came up with. Readers are invited to add their own suggestions in the comments.

Yahoo: Bright purple, tastes like grape sherbet. Was all the rage until a bunch of better flavors came along.
Instagram: Sepia-colored. Tastes like you'd imagine ice cream used to taste in the good old days. A popular choice, but at this point it borders on cliché.
Netflix: Addictive. As soon as you finish one scoop, a recommendation pops up with another flavor you might enjoy.
Microsoft: Full of bugs, but everyone eats it anyway. Often served at corporate functions.
Tumblr: An aesthetically pleasing cascade of different flavors, with naughty bits sprinkled in.
Snapchat: Melts in your mouth.
Google: Self-eating.
AOL: Popular with oldsters, who still churn it by hand.
Samsung: Virtually indistinguishable from Apple, but slightly cheaper.
Square: Only 2.75 percent butterfat.
Twitter: A haphazard admixture of bite-sized pellets. An M&M here, a sprinkle there, three peanuts, half an oreo...
Tesla: Zero calories, and everyone agrees it's the best ice cream ever made, hands-down. But it's prohibitively expensive, and in cold weather it turns into a brick.

Future Tense is a partnership of SlateNew America, and Arizona State University.


Medical Examiner

The Most Terrifying Thing About Ebola 

The disease threatens humanity by preying on humanity.

I Bought the Huge iPhone. I’m Already Thinking of Returning It.

Scotland Is Just the Beginning. Expect More Political Earthquakes in Europe.

Students Aren’t Going to College Football Games as Much Anymore

And schools are getting worried.

Global Marches Demand Action on Climate Change


Blacks Don’t Have a Corporal Punishment Problem

Americans do. But when blacks exhibit the same behaviors as others, it becomes part of a greater black pathology. 

Why a Sketch of Chelsea Manning Is Stirring Up Controversy

How Worried Should Poland, the Baltic States, and Georgia Be About a Russian Invasion?

  News & Politics
Sept. 20 2014 11:13 AM -30-
Business Insider
Sept. 20 2014 6:30 AM The Man Making Bill Gates Richer
Sept. 20 2014 7:27 AM How Do Plants Grow Aboard the International Space Station?
  Double X
The XX Factor
Sept. 19 2014 11:33 AM Planned Parenthood Is About to Make It a Lot Easier to Get Birth Control
  Slate Plus
Tv Club
Sept. 21 2014 1:15 PM The Slate Doctor Who Podcast: Episode 5  A spoiler-filled discussion of "Time Heist."
Sept. 21 2014 9:00 PM Attractive People Being Funny While Doing Amusing and Sometimes Romantic Things Don’t dismiss it. Friends was a truly great show.
Future Tense
Sept. 19 2014 5:03 PM White House Chief Information Officer Will Run U.S. Ebola Response
  Health & Science
Bad Astronomy
Sept. 21 2014 8:00 AM An Astronaut’s Guided Video Tour of Earth
Sports Nut
Sept. 18 2014 11:42 AM Grandmaster Clash One of the most amazing feats in chess history just happened, and no one noticed.