This Alleged Restroom Peeper Did Not Have a Great Excuse for How He Ended Up Inside a Public Toilet

A blog about murder, theft, and other wickedness.
July 10 2013 3:30 PM

This Alleged Restroom Peeper Did Not Have a Great Excuse for How He Ended Up Inside a Public Toilet

A row of lookout points, aka portable restrooms

Photo by Karen Bleier/AFP/Getty Images

Crime is Slate’s crime blog. Like us on Facebook, and follow us on Twitter @slatecrime.

“That’s No Excuse” is an occasional series spotlighting unconvincing criminal alibis.


Alleged crime: Being a peeping Tom

The facts: Someday I fully intend to write a book titled A Brief History of Weirdos Who Hide Inside Toilets to Glimpse People’s Bare Bottoms, and for Other Reasons of Sexual Gratification. When I write that book, I bet I’ll devote least a page or two to Kenneth Webster Enlow, an Oklahoma man who was arrested Sunday after he was found covered in feces in the septic tank of a public toilet at a Tulsa-area park. Enlow was discovered when a woman attempting to use the toilet noticed a set of human eyes peeping up at her from the hole where waste goes. The woman screamed, the police came, and Enlow was extricated from the latrine.

“They sprayed him off with the front hose of the firetruck, and probably for a very good reason,” a witness told a local TV station. “When he first came out, he was covered in defecation. Looked like he'd been down there for quite some time.” After Enlow was hosed down, he was arrested on misdemeanor peeping Tom charges—no, you wisenheimer, not pooping Tom charges—which, in Oklahoma, can be brought against anyone caught skulking around or inside houses, locker rooms, or toilet stalls with “intent to watch a person in a clandestine manner.” reported that Enlow “was also wanted in Okmulgee County for outstanding warrants on embezzlement and dumping trash,” presumably on himself, while he was hiding inside a trash can hoping for a glimpse of a garbage man’s ass crack.

The alibi: Enlow told police that it was all a misunderstanding—that his girlfriend had clubbed him in the head with a tire iron and dumped him inside the septic tank for some unspecified reason. He also says that he was struck unconscious, which is why he didn’t scream for help or ask the woman who spotted him to come to his assistance.

Why this is a bad alibi: Oh, gee, where to start? When doctors examined Enlow, they couldn’t find any welts, or bumps, or bruises, or anything else to indicate that he had been clubbed unconscious with a tire iron. But, to be charitable, let’s say that Enlow’s girlfriend did bop him on the head very, very softly, and that Enlow fainted in fright or something. There’s no possible situation in which her next thought would be “Ha ha! Let’s add insult to injury and drag this 6-foot, 240-pound man over to a filthy park bathroom and dump him inside a toilet. That’ll teach him to drink all the cider!” If you find yourself inside the bowels of a latrine, staring up at the light filtering down through an open toilet seat, chances are you’re there of your own volition. For more thoughts on this topic, you’re just going to have to wait for the book.

Justin Peters is a writer for Slate. He is working on a book about Aaron Swartz, copyright, and the rise of “free culture.” Email him at



Smash and Grab

Will competitive Senate contests in Kansas and South Dakota lead to more late-breaking races in future elections?

Stop Panicking. America Is Now in Very Good Shape to Respond to the Ebola Crisis.

The 2014 Kansas City Royals Show the Value of Building a Mediocre Baseball Team

The GOP Won’t Win Any Black Votes With Its New “Willie Horton” Ad

Sleater-Kinney Was Once America’s Best Rock Band

Can it be again?


Forget Oculus Rift

This $25 cardboard box turns your phone into an incredibly fun virtual reality experience.

One of Putin’s Favorite Oligarchs Wants to Start an Orthodox Christian Fox News

These Companies in Japan Are More Than 1,000 Years Old

Trending News Channel
Oct. 20 2014 6:17 PM Watch Flashes of Lightning Created in a Lab  
  News & Politics
Oct. 20 2014 8:14 PM You Should Be Optimistic About Ebola Don’t panic. Here are all the signs that the U.S. is containing the disease.
Oct. 20 2014 7:23 PM Chipotle’s Magical Burrito Empire Keeps Growing, Might Be Slowing
Oct. 20 2014 3:16 PM The Catholic Church Is Changing, and Celibate Gays Are Leading the Way
  Double X
The XX Factor
Oct. 20 2014 6:17 PM I Am 25. I Don't Work at Facebook. My Doctors Want Me to Freeze My Eggs.
  Slate Plus
Tv Club
Oct. 20 2014 7:15 AM The Slate Doctor Who Podcast: Episode 9 A spoiler-filled discussion of "Flatline."
Brow Beat
Oct. 20 2014 9:13 PM The Smart, Talented, and Utterly Hilarious Leslie Jones Is SNL’s Newest Cast Member
Oct. 20 2014 11:36 PM Forget Oculus Rift This $25 cardboard box turns your phone into an incredibly fun virtual-reality experience.
  Health & Science
Bad Astronomy
Oct. 21 2014 7:00 AM Watch the Moon Eat the Sun: The Partial Solar Eclipse on Thursday, Oct. 23
Sports Nut
Oct. 20 2014 5:09 PM Keepaway, on Three. Ready—Break! On his record-breaking touchdown pass, Peyton Manning couldn’t even leave the celebration to chance.