Jan. 22: What I Ate. My First Complete Meal, a Horrible Omelet-Folding Disaster, Flouting the Government's Rules, and My Secret to a Happy Marriage.

Jan. 22: What I Ate. My First Complete Meal, a Horrible Omelet-Folding Disaster, Flouting the Government's Rules, and My…

Jan. 22: What I Ate. My First Complete Meal, a Horrible Omelet-Folding Disaster, Flouting the Government's Rules, and My…

Outrageous experiments in sensible eating.
Jan. 23 2011 10:11 AM

Jan. 22: What I Ate. My First Complete Meal, a Horrible Omelet-Folding Disaster, Flouting the Government's Rules, and My Secret to a Happy Marriage.

The cleaning woman was here and I didn't want to get in her way, so I didn't eat until 1 p.m. (I know, I have a cleaning woman how spoiled. It's my secret to a happy marriage.) That's OK: It was Saturday, so I could call it brunch. I made a huge meal perhaps my first complete meal of the project so far. But I had a horrible omelet folding disaster, as you can see. For a prettier omelet, look at this post .

This omelet has kale, garlic, mushrooms, and cheese. There's a side of potatoes and one slice of toast with jam. I haven't eaten butter since I started this project, but maybe I should. It's got omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids , right?

Ellen Tarlin Ellen Tarlin

Ellen Tarlin is a former Slate copy chief and writer of the "Clean Plate" blog. Her essays have appeared in the Boston Globe, the Boston PhoenixBrooklyn Bridge, Bark, and  the RISK storytelling podcast. Follow her on Twitter.

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I also had a cup of orange juice and some cantaloupe. Of note: This is about three or four servings of fruit all MyPyramid.gov would allow me for an entire day! Ridiculous, I say.

I didn't try to eat this slowly. I spent about 22 minutes, but that was still too fast and too much food and my stomach hurt after.

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However, this meal served me well. I wasn't hungry for the rest of the day, but I thought I should eat more anyway. I was making dinner and it was taking longer than I'd anticipated (a recurring theme), so I had an apple, just to flout MyPyramid's guidelines. Such a rebel, I know. Time spent eating: 3:10. It was a very small apple.

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At last dinner was ready. I wasn't hungry but I had some anyway. This is split-pea soup from my new Easy Beans cookbook, with red potato slices added. It was good but I think Mollie Katzen's Moosewood Cookbook recipe is better. Time spent eating: 8:42. I guess I'm getting a little fed up with eating meditation.

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Finally, two chocolates. I learned an unfortunate thing: These don't even need to be defrosted. (Of course not, they are all saturated fat what was I thinking?) They turned out to be my favorites: orange cream on the right and some sort of unidentifiable purple cream (raspberry? blackberry? grape?) on the left. Time spent eating: 2:49.

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