Anna Faris’ new memoir, Unqualified, comes out on Tuesday, and in it she dishes about her childhood, her experiences in the entertainment industry, and, of course, her personal life. Fans of the actress and her podcast about dating and relationships will probably enjoy reading anecdotes from Faris’ life, like the time she ate a fly that was buzzing around her table at a restaurant while she was on a date (yes, really). But there will surely also be a substantial number of readers impatiently flipping through the pages in search of juicy details about Faris’ separation with her husband, Chris Pratt, which the couple announced in August.
Those readers won’t have to flip very far: Not only is the memoir dedicated to Pratt (“Your wisdom and strength have made me a better person”), he also wrote the book’s foreword. You might think it would be awkward for Pratt to introduce the book written by his soon-to-be-ex-wife—and you’d be right! While Pratt has some sweet things to say about Faris, who he calls “the person I spent one amazing decade with,” his rambling foreword to her book is also full of deeply uncomfortable moments, such as …
When Pratt avoids saying “we broke up” in favor of beating around the bush:
When I was asked to write the forward [sic] for Unqualified, Anna’s memoir, I immediately said yes without even thinking about it. And boy did a lot happen between then and now.
So much.
Like … soooo much.
When Pratt spends a painfully long time pretending he doesn’t know what a foreword is or how it’s spelled:
Crickets.
Stares at phone.
Literally googles the word forward.
Wow … Okay. So … it’s actually spelled FOREWORD. With an O and an E. Who knew? Siri did. Of course. We’ve been through a lot, she and I.
When Pratt weirdly reminds us that he owns a 30–40 gun arsenal in the midst of praising his wife for being well-informed:
She reads the big five: The New York Times, LA Times, The Seattle Times, The New Yorker, and The Economist. Whereas I read “The Big 5” sporting goods ads, looking for good deals on guns and Rollerblades.
When Pratt offers up this bizarre, seemingly backhanded compliment about Faris meeting her fans:
She communes with anybody and makes an instant connection with each person she meets, which lasts … a VERY SHORT TIME. Like, a “goldfish, three seconds, turn around and you’re strangers” kind of way? Almost like Dory from Finding Nemo? Or the movie Memento?
This line:
And in all the years we were together, I don’t think I smelled her farts once. They’re probably not too bad.
