Well, you’ve really done it this time. Somehow Marvel got the idea you wanted to watch more stories about the Punisher, and so they made an entire television series about the Punisher, and now here’s the trailer for it. Great. Good job. For most people, it would have been enough to trick Marvel into making a movie about the Punisher with Dolph Lundgren and Lou Gossett Jr. back in 1989. You remember that? We do:
Nine million dollars down the tube on that little stunt—1989 dollars!—and the movie didn’t even get theatrical distribution in the United States. But that wasn’t enough for you, was it? Oh, no. Not for you. You had to pull the same trick again in 2004. “Give us more movies about the Punisher!” you said. “Take money away from directors who want to tell human dramas and spend it on movies about Frank Castle firing machine guns!” Sure, it didn’t work when they cast Dolph Lundgren in the role, but this time around they got Thomas Jane and John Travolta, so what could possibly go wrong? Well, see for yourself:
I guess you hoped everyone would forget that the 2004 Punisher movie ever happened, huh? Well, it looks like you were right, because it was only four years before Marvel revisited the character of the Punisher once more, because this time, you assured them, audiences would love him. This time it would all be different, you said. But was it? Was it, really?
And now, because six hours of Punisher-related content weren’t enough for you, Netflix has made a 13-episode series about the Punisher. Thirteen hours! Think of it as a thirteen-hour-long Punisher movie if you think that makes it sound better, but it’s still thirteen more hours with the Punisher. Well done. Enjoy. We hope you’re happy with yourself.