Late-night hosts who might have mourned the loss of Sean “Spicey” Spicer from the White House communications team need not have worried: When it comes to comedic potential, Anthony “Mooch” Scaramucci is the gift that keeps on giving. On Thursday night, Steven Colbert, Trevor Noah, and Seth Meyers reacted with glee to the outrageousness of Scaramucci’s phone call to New Yorker reporter Ryan Lizza, a profanity-laden tirade in which he suggested that chief strategist Steven Bannon tries to “suck [his] own cock.”
With direct quotations like these, who even needs writers? Here’s the best of what late-night hosts had to say about the rant.
Colbert read highlights of Scaramucci’s New Yorker comments while doing an impression of Scaramucci as a mobster, dialing his Long Island accent up to 11. Because Scaramucci has quite a mouth on him, Colbert’s rendition of the rant required a word of warning beforehand: “If you are put off by foul language, the Mooch thinks you should mooch yourself, in the head.”
Colbert in some ways objected to the mobster comparison, however, noting that despite Scaramucci’s professed desire to “kill all the leakers,” you shouldn’t call him a hit man: “He’s just a guy who was contracted to whack squealers by a powerful ‘Don.’ ”
Late Night With Seth Meyers got around the obscenity issue by using rooster emojis and accompanying sound effects to replace Scaramucci’s many mentions of “cock” during the rant. Meyers also had a theory about why Steve Bannon wasn’t available for comment. “I’m guessing he was unavailable to comment because, based on his skill set, he was otherwise engaged. Or maybe he did comment, and it was muffled,” he said. “Y’know, because of his [rooster noise].”
Trevor Noah marveled at the speed with which Scaramucci managed to embroil himself in a scandal. “I’m not gonna lie, people, I love Scaramucci already, cussing out all his co-workers,” he said. “That’s what you do when you quit, not when you start.”
Noah focused in on the Mooch’s remarks about Reince Priebus, whom he called “a fucking paranoid schizophrenic, a paranoiac.” Noah said he can’t blame anyone in the Trump administration for being paranoid, however. “It’s like being Hannibal Lecter’s chef,” noted Noah. “It’s only a matter of time.”
