Eastbound & Down star Danny McBride has always taken the occasional dramatic part, from his bit part in Up in the Air to his recent appearance in Alien: Covenant. But when you’re as great as McBride is at playing overconfident redneck characters for laughs, there’s really no good reason to deny the world your gift. So “Danny McBride’s Badass Father’s Day Tips,” a video McBride made for The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, is a very welcome return to form. Here are McBride’s recommended Father’s Day gifts (or close facsimiles) ready for you and your dad to complete the look:
- A Burmese python ($209.99)
- An 1832 pattern foot artillery belt and scabbard ($1,850.00)
- A 24-pack of “Link Snacks Squatch Snack Sticks” to go in the artillery belt scabbard ($45.58)
- A katana sword ($1,234.64)
- A Wilson NCAA Final Four Edition basketball ($18.45)
- A Gilbert Photon match rugby ball, Size 5 ($30.43)
- A Louisville Slugger Genuine Series 3X ash mixed baseball bat ($23.04)
- A Liebherr LB 28 Uralmash 15000 Series drilling rig (unavailable at any price)
Not only do they not have “Liebherr LB 28 Uralmash 15000 series drilling rigs” at Walmart, as McBride claims, they don’t exist at all. You can buy a Liebherr LB 28 series drilling rig if you have hundreds of thousands of dollars and a way to transport industrial equipment from Russia, but Uralmash is a completely different company, and the 15000 is way out of reach. Only four Uralmash 15000 series were ever built by the then-Soviet firm, the last in 1985. One of these helped drill the deepest hole in the world, so your dad probably would love it, but unless you’re a Russian oligarch, McBride’s last suggestion will be out of reach. Still, taking the ultra-expensive drilling rig off the table means you can buy the rest of the items on McBride’s list for the low, low price of $3,412.13. It’s going to be a badass Father’s Day.
