Brow Beat

Stephen Colbert Attempts to Communicate With President Obama Via Microwave

It’s been more than a week since President Trump accused Barack Obama of wiretapping the phones in Trump Tower during the campaign, and he has yet to produce even a lick of evidence. And Trump surrogates have had trouble explaining this one away: Sean Spicer certainly tried, asserting at a press conference that when the president used the phrase wires tapped, he didn’t actually mean “wiretapping,” because words don’t mean anything anymore and we can change their definitions at will. Meanwhile, Kellyanne Conway spoke to a columnist for the Bergen County Record about all of the spooky surveillance tactics that are out there.

“What I can say is there are many ways to surveil each other,” she said, naming phones [absolutely] and televisions [sure] as possible devices with which the government can spy on people. But then she added to that list: “Microwaves that turn into cameras.” Wait, what? “We know this is a fact of modern life.”

Conway later clarified on CNN that she, like the president, couldn’t be held accountable for the words that come out of her mouth because she’s not “Inspector Gadget” and isn’t in the business of “having evidence.” But Stephen Colbert knew exactly what Conway was talking about—how do you think they film The Late Show, if not with microwaves? What’s more, he believes President Obama is spying on us through our microwaves, and he delivers an important message for him while retrieving his Hot Pocket: “I miss you.”