Watch Stephen Colbert slam the revelations regarding Jeff Sessions and Russia.

Stephen Colbert Thinks Jeff Sessions May Be Done For: “You’ve Already F---ed Yourself”

Stephen Colbert Thinks Jeff Sessions May Be Done For: “You’ve Already F---ed Yourself”

Brow Beat
Slate's Culture Blog
March 3 2017 9:51 AM

Stephen Colbert Thinks Jeff Sessions May Be Done For: “You’ve Already F---ed Yourself”

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“Big news today out of the Kremlin,” Stephen Colbert said to begin his Late Show monologue on Thursday, before correcting himself: “I’m sorry, I misread that—out of the White House.”

As revelations of contact between Russian officials and Trump aides continue to pile up, count Colbert among those who are starting to find it all a little suspicious. Replaying Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ confirmation hearing opposite Al Franken—in which he’s shown to lie under oath—Colbert made the point that Sessions wasn’t even asked about his own relationship with the Russians and that in turn, he essentially “volunteered” to lie. “Why I’d be happy to answer your question, senator, but first, let me stand on this rickety chair next to a full bathtub,” Colbert joked, channeling Sessions. “Please, hand me that toaster, and plug it in if you will. Perhaps an English muffin or two in here. What was your question again?”

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Indeed, as Colbert sees it, there’s no getting out of the mess Sessions apparently made for himself. Even the attorney general’s recent announcement of recusal won’t stop the bleeding. “You called yourself a campaign surrogate, then you lied under oath that you never met with the Russians,” Colbert explained. “You don’t have to recuse yourself, because you’ve already fucked yourself.”