Paramount has shut down production on its planned reboot of Friday the 13th, according to the Hollywood Reporter. Breck Eisner had been tapped to direct, with filming scheduled to start in March for an Oct. 13 release. Executives were reportedly spooked by the lackluster box office results from Rings. Eisner’s film would have been the thirteenth installment in the long-running franchise.
The reboot was relaxing with a joint when Paramount stabbed an arrow through its neck, smashed it in the face with an axe, and decapitated it with a machete before finally dragging it beneath the surface of Crystal Lake. Shockingly, camp counselors were too busy making out to even notice.
