Brow Beat

Jonesing for Super Bowl Ads Before Sunday? Let Melissa McCarthy Get You Right.

It’s been almost a year since the last Super Bowl, and you know what that means: Everyone’s Super Bowl ad levels are dangerously low. On Sunday the NFL, Fox, and our nation’s courageous brands will shoot an hour or so of high-quality advertisements straight into our veins. But in the meantime, a few selfless companies are giving us just a little taste to get us by until we can do things properly over the weekend. First out of the gate is the Kia Niro, a crossover hybrid SUV whose name coincidentally evokes an extravagantly corrupt emperor amusing himself with trivial things—fiddles, say, or high-end advertising—while the world burns. It turns out that you can be environmentally conscious while buying a new gasoline-burning car, as long as it’s the right brand—and that brand is the Kia Niro!

The ad stars Melissa McCarthy as a hero whose attempts to help the environment end in painful, Homer Simpson–style disasters. Whether McCarthy is saving whales, trees, icebergs, or even rhinos, her efforts all come to nothing but injury. The message is clear and inspiring: Direct action simply doesn’t work and will make you look ridiculous besides. People will laugh at you, as though you were some kind of comedy superstar like Melissa McCarthy! On the other hand, no one will laugh at you as long as you are, yourself, laughing at comedy superstar Melissa McCarthy. The best way to help save the environment is to buy things, buy things, buy things, especially new cars, and especially Kia Niros—and the best way to stay informed about what’s going on in the world is to watch advertisements when you don’t absolutely have to. Slate, Kia, and Melissa McCarthy are proud to join forces to make the world you’ve always dreamed of—a world in which it doesn’t have to be Super Bowl Sunday to watch a high-production-value Super Bowl ad—an amazing reality. Heroes, one and all.