“Florals, for spring? Groundbreaking.” That line from The Devil Wears Prada pretty much sums up how I feel about the news that Sir Elton John and Paul Rudnick are adapting the 2006 comedy into a Broadway musical. These days, if it’s not being rebooted into a TV show or ironic movie franchise, to the Great White Way it is. That said, the movie’s script full of one-liners would seem to lend itself quite well to the song-and-dance treatment, and it doesn’t hurt that all of the movie’s original leads have musical chops. With apologies to Vulture’s killer pitch (get it?) for A League of Their Own: The Musical, we offer some suggestions for the Prada songbook:
“A Million Girls Would Kill for This Job”: The melody of this opening number, featuring the hopes and dreams of principled wannabe serious journalist Andy Sachs, will recur throughout the show, much like this line does in the movie version.
“(Who Was That) Sad Little Person”: Andy’s disastrous musical interview with Miranda Priestly is a little bit Wicked’s “Popular,” a little bit “Look at Me, I’m Sandra Dee.”
“Gird Your Loins”: The fashion closet subs in for the jailhouse of Chicago’s “Cell Block Tango” (with a dash of “It’s a Hard Knock Life”), as Nigel shows Andy the fashion ropes. Christian Borle will absolutely slay as Nigel.
“Always a First Assistant”: An “On My Own”–like lament from the long-suffering Emily.
“Dance of the Cerulean Sweaters”: Miranda dresses down Andy with surgical precision in this intricate ballet.
“Clack, Clack, Clack, Clack, Clack”: A tap dance from the chorus of clackers who work at Runway magazine.
“Can You Please Spell Gabbana?”: Slowly but surely, Andy gets used to the fashion biz—and even starts to impress Miranda. Think “Getting to Know You” from The King and I.
“A Little Crisco”: Nigel gives Andy a makeover, cue makeover sequence. Hopefully Patricia Field will be back to do the costumes.
“Ballad of the Jarlsburg”: Adrian Grenier, reprising his role as Andy’s boyfriend Nate the sous chef from the film because does he have anything better going on, probably not, pops up to guilt Andy and namedrop cheeses, in song.
“Everyone Wants to Be Us”: Miranda’s machinations come to a head at the Paris fashion shows, in her “Poor Unfortunate Souls” moment.
“That’s All”: But when Miranda is alone, we get a showstopping, poignant peek at the softness below her icy heart, à la “Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina.”