Brow Beat

New Fifty Shades Darker Trailer Has Fewer Masks, More Flagrant Disregard for Indecent Exposure Laws

Sure, it’s sexy for you two. But it’s incredibly uncomfortable for everyone else.

Still taken from the trailer

The last trailer we saw for Fifty Shades Darker, sequel to the blockbuster Fifty Shades of Grey, notably featured lots and lots of masks. In the new trailer, Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey remove those masks—and several other articles of clothing along with them, proving that Fifty Shades is actually the story of two people who terrorize Seattle with their inability to keep it in their pants in public. (There’s also a love story and a stalker or something, but it’s a little hard to focus on those given everything else going on in this trailer.)

Fifty Shades Darker, like its prequel, takes place for the most part in and around Washington state. I’m no lawyer, so I’m not qualified to comment with certainty that Steele and Grey are violating any of Washington’s public decency laws—though Grey is supposed to be a bazillionaire, so I’m sure he would have no problem paying a fine. Still, I think it’s safe to say that should they be spotted by the maître d’, they would be politely asked to exit the restaurant and never return. And those brave souls valiantly pretending not to know what’s so clearly happening behind them in the elevator? Give them some kind of award.

Fifty Shades of Grey hits theaters on Feb. 14, 2017.