There are only two things more reliable than death and taxes: Nicolas Cage will take virtually any part, and he will fully, fully commit to his role. Both Cage factors are in full effect in the astounding trailer for Army of One, in which Cage plays a Colorado handyman who believes God (Russell Brand, naturally) has told him to go to Pakistan to hunt and kill Osama bin Laden. The film was directed by Larry Charles, who also directed Borat and The Dictator, so its portrayal of the Middle East is likely to be a Category 5 think piece event. But judging from the trailer, Army of One is also likely to be a Category 9 Nicolas Cage event (a “Cagetastrophe,” as the scientists say), so it’s really a question of which disaster to prepare for.
Cage’s weird nasal delivery (“plaaaaaning and traaaaining”), his ponytail, his sword, his underwear karate … it’s everything you’ve ever dreamed of, assuming you dream about Nicolas Cage traveling to Pakistan to hunt bin Laden. Russell Brand can’t stop this performance. Dumping this movie to home video instead of theaters can’t stop this performance. Bin Laden can’t stop this performance. Only one man can stop this performance. That man’s name is Nicolas Cage, and he’s not going to lift a finger.
