Brow Beat

John Oliver Has Some Great Advice for How Donald Trump Can Save His Campaign (No, Really)

Donald Trump is in a bit of a pickle. As the November election creeps ever closer, the presidential candidate now faces two equally unpromising possibilities: Either he loses to Hillary Clinton, forever tarnishing the Trump brand, or he wins the election and then has to actually serve as president of the United States. (Face it, distributing disaster relief and making nice with foreign politicians just isn’t his style.)

John Oliver understands Trump’s dilemma, and on Sunday night he decided to set aside his many, many, many quarrels with the Republican nominee to offer him some direct advice: “I know that you’re watching, Donald, because you watch everything that’s said about you. I’m pretty sure you sleep in a tanning bed made out of cable news talking about you.”

Since the man is caught between two undesirable outcomes, Oliver’s proposes a third option for Trump’s candidacy: Drop out of the race, and claim that the whole thing was satire intended to expose a broken system in which campaign finance is corrupt, the media gives free airtime to a demagogue, and politicians will do anything, no matter how morally repulsive, to appease their base.

It’s actually a smart strategy, and Oliver even has Trump’s concession speech all mapped out—it’s literally the text of Dan Gutman’s The Kid Who Ran for President.