Brow Beat

This Revenge Story About Incompetent Con Men Is Immensely Satisfying

Dave Holmes.

Photo by Brad Barket/Getty Images for New York Magazine

Actor, writer, and MTV personality Dave Holmes had quite a run-in last night, and he took to Twitter to recount the story. According to Holmes, as he left the gym in an exhausted stupor, he noticed that he had a voicemail. He listened and—seeing as how the message included the mildly alarming words, “THIS IS A FINAL NOTICE FROM THE IRS”—decided to return the call. Holmes then found himself on the line with a fast-talking, stern-toned stranger who claimed that Holmes owed more than $5K in connection with an apparently very real 2008 audit, and—worse yet—they’d already cancelled his driver’s license and were prepared to send him to federal prison for five years (!) if he did not immediately pay in full. Well, damn.

Despite his foggy state, Holmes realized that something—no, everything—with this seemed off. And like a true improv veteran, he decided to have some fun with his would-be grifters, pretending to be tearful and terror-stricken, ready to throw himself on the mercy of the IRS and do whatever they asked. Naturally, they asked him to find his nearest bank teller, withdraw $5,300 in cash, and deposit said cash into a specified Bank of America account. That sounds normal, right? In the interest of preserving the punchline, we’ll let Holmes take it from there: