Brow Beat

This “Sexy Pizza Rat” Costume Is Ridiculous—But Also Grossly Inaccurate

’Tis the season for unreasonably sexed-up pop-cuture-themed Halloween costumes: take, for instance, the bewigged, booty-shorted “sexy Donald Trump” getup that has recently been making  the rounds. Now the same vendor that’s selling the Trump costume is peddling a “sexy pizza rat” outfit, putting everyone’s favorite determined rodent’s efforts to shame. The costume features a grey tube dress with an improbably flirty hood, ears, tail, and two slices of randomly-placed pepperoni. It retails at $89.95.

The sexy pizza rat costume costs $89.95.

This pizza rat costume may be ridiculous, but more importantly, it is a gross misrepresentation of fact. The real pizza rat was carrying one slice, not two, and it was clearly cheese. And why are the slices attached to her hips? Are they pockets? Is this a statement about the relative distribution of pizza-related fat on the female body? Pizza rat dragged the slice with his teeth, not his upper thighs. If you’re going to manufacture a sexy pizza rat costume, do it right.

Kenan Thompson’s far more accurate version from this Saturday’s episode of SNL is the better option (and warmer) for anyone who doesn’t want to drop almost $90 on a slim-fitting gray velour mini. 

Now this is a pizza rat costume.