Brow Beat

Arizona Beverages Is Now Making “Oak Brewed Tea,” for Some Reason

The iced tea you never knew you wanted, and still probably don’t want.

AriZona Beverages

Have you ever sipped an oak-aged chardonnay and thought, “This oaky flavor would be so much better in a glass of iced tea?”

No? Well, just in case you ever do, Arizona Beverages has you covered. The maker of Skinnygirl Sparklers and Organic Yumberry Green Tea has released an iced tea as inexplicable as the capital Z in its name: “AriZona Oak Reserve,” an iced tea “brewed with American Oak Chips.” What will this oak-brewed tea taste like? Arizona promises that “connoisseurs” will take to its “sophisticated tea notes and smooth oaky finish.” Thank goodness—I hate drinking tea with unsophisticated tea notes or, worse, no tea notes at all.

No word yet on how connoisseurs feel about drinking iced tea out of a plastic bottle designed to look like an oak barrel with the word “OAK” printed on it in all caps twice.