Arizona Beverages Is Now Making “Oak Brewed Tea,” for Some Reason

Slate's Culture Blog
July 23 2014 8:16 AM

Arizona Beverages Is Now Making “Oak Brewed Tea,” for Some Reason

20oz_unswtblkoak_300_small
The iced tea you never knew you wanted, and still probably don't want.

AriZona Beverages

Have you ever sipped an oak-aged chardonnay and thought, “This oaky flavor would be so much better in a glass of iced tea?”

No? Well, just in case you ever do, Arizona Beverages has you covered. The maker of Skinnygirl Sparklers and Organic Yumberry Green Tea has released an iced tea as inexplicable as the capital Z in its name: “AriZona Oak Reserve,” an iced tea “brewed with American Oak Chips.” What will this oak-brewed tea taste like? Arizona promises that “connoisseurs” will take to its “sophisticated tea notes and smooth oaky finish.” Thank goodness—I hate drinking tea with unsophisticated tea notes or, worse, no tea notes at all.

Advertisement

No word yet on how connoisseurs feel about drinking iced tea out of a plastic bottle designed to look like an oak barrel with the word “OAK” printed on it in all caps twice.

L.V. Anderson is a Slate assistant editor. She edits Slate's food and drink sections and writes Brow Beat's recipe column, You're Doing It Wrong. 

TODAY IN SLATE

Politics

Meet the New Bosses

How the Republicans would run the Senate.

The U.S. Is So, So Far Behind Europe on Clean Energy

The Government Is Giving Millions of Dollars in Electric-Car Subsidies to the Wrong Drivers

The Best Thing About the People’s Climate March in NYC

Friends Was the Last Purely Pleasurable Sitcom

The Eye

This Whimsical Driverless Car Imagines Transportation in 2059

Medical Examiner

Did America Get Fat by Drinking Diet Soda?  

A high-profile study points the finger at artificial sweeteners.

A Woman Who Escaped the Extreme Babymaking Christian Fundamentalism of Quiverfull

John Oliver Debunks the Miss America Pageant’s Claim That It Gives Out $45 Million in Scholarships

Trending News Channel
Sept. 20 2014 11:13 AM Watch Flashes of Lightning Created in a Lab  
  News & Politics
Over There
Sept. 22 2014 1:29 PM “That’s Called Jim Crow” Philip Gourevitch on America’s hypocritical interventions in Africa.
  Business
Moneybox
Sept. 22 2014 1:37 PM Subprime Loans Are Back! And believe it or not, that’s a good thing.
  Life
Lexicon Valley
Sept. 22 2014 1:22 PM Is Arabic Really Just One Language? 
  Double X
The XX Factor
Sept. 22 2014 12:29 PM Escaping the Extreme Christian Fundamentalism of "Quiverfull"
  Slate Plus
Slate Plus
Sept. 22 2014 1:52 PM Tell Us What You Think About Slate Plus Help us improve our new membership program.
  Arts
Television
Sept. 22 2014 2:12 PM Crusader, Sans Cape The superhero trappings of Gotham are just a clever disguise.
  Technology
Future Tense
Sept. 22 2014 12:14 PM Family Court Rules That You Can Serve Someone With Legal Papers Over Facebook
  Health & Science
Science
Sept. 22 2014 12:15 PM The Changing Face of Climate Change Will the leaders of the People’s Climate March now lead the movement?
  Sports
Sports Nut
Sept. 18 2014 11:42 AM Grandmaster Clash One of the most amazing feats in chess history just happened, and no one noticed.