What Happens When You Take the Exclamation Points Out of a Guy Fieri Menu

Brow Beat
Slate's Culture Blog
April 23 2014 2:52 PM

Finding Poetry in a Guy Fieri Menu

483112845-chef-and-television-personality-guy-fieri-attends-the
The next poet laureate?

Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images

Eater unveiled the menu for Guy Fieri’s Vegas Kitchen & Bar earlier this week, and it is chockablock with “‘wow-sabi’ cream,” “gnarly Greek salad,” and “Guy’s famous donkey sauce.” It’s also chockablock with exclamation points—21 of them, by my count, starting with the very first item on the menu. (Sashimi Won-Tacos are allegedly “Everyone’s fave ‘cuz they’re wicked tasty!”)

L.V. Anderson L.V. Anderson

L.V. Anderson is a Slate assistant editor. She edits Slate's food and drink sections and writes Brow Beat's recipe column, You're Doing It Wrong. 

But would Fieri’s menu sound quite as jocular without all those excitable punctuation marks? When I started taking the exclamation points out, I discovered that some of Fieri’s descriptions of greasy bar food convey a powerful poignancy.

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The following poem is comprised of 10 of the exclamations from the Guy Fieri’s Vegas Kitchen & Bar menu. The sentences have been copied verbatim, except that their exclamation points have been replaced with other punctuation. I call it “Ode on a Gnarly Greek Salad.”

Ode on a Gnarly Greek Salad
By Guy Fieri

Truffle, truffle + more truffle,
Love, peace & taco grease.
They might not end the world, but they’ll end your hunger.

We have built this salad in a crown of prosciutto-wrapped smoked provolone:
Go big or go home.
All our richly marbled 100% USDA choice ground beef is smash-grilled—
Try Guy’s blue-sabi sauce to put out the fire.

We make these wings a flavorful phenomenon with a sweet + spicy sauce that
    will make your head spin.

This one packs a punch. 

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