Have you looked outside? We may get a foot of snow in New York City. Ditto for Washington, D.C. A train has derailed in Pennsylvania. There is “thundersnow” in Charlotte. I’m not even sure what that is.
None of us are going to work. We’re going to stay in, keep warm, and watch you. For hours. It’s good for us! Not to mention you.
I know you have a whole host of viewing options, but the only thing that will keep us entertained for the amount of time we have to kill is a gripping, twisty drama “designed to be binge-watched,” like, say, House of Cards. And not the first season. We watched that already. It was great! Now we need Season 2. Today.
And what better way to prove the brilliance of your watch-it-whenever, we’re-so-much-better-than-HBO business plan? Now’s your chance, and it might not come again. I hear Amazon’s gaining on you. But give us Season 2 today, and I might forget I signed up for Amazon Prime the other day.
Moments like this require someone who will act. So come on, Netflix. Don’t be useless. I have no patience for useless things.
TODAY IN SLATE
The Ebola Story
How our minds build narratives out of disaster.
The Budget Disaster That Completely Sabotaged the WHO’s Response to Ebola
PowerPoint Is the Worst, and Now It’s the Latest Way to Hack Into Your Computer
The Shooting Tragedies That Forged Canada’s Gun Politics
A Highly Unscientific Ranking of Crazy-Old German Beers
Welcome to 13th Grade!
Some high schools are offering a fifth year. That’s a great idea.
The Actual World
“Mount Thoreau” and the naming of things in the wilderness.