Have you looked outside? We may get a foot of snow in New York City. Ditto for Washington, D.C. A train has derailed in Pennsylvania. There is “thundersnow” in Charlotte. I’m not even sure what that is.
None of us are going to work. We’re going to stay in, keep warm, and watch you. For hours. It’s good for us! Not to mention you.
I know you have a whole host of viewing options, but the only thing that will keep us entertained for the amount of time we have to kill is a gripping, twisty drama “designed to be binge-watched,” like, say, House of Cards. And not the first season. We watched that already. It was great! Now we need Season 2. Today.
And what better way to prove the brilliance of your watch-it-whenever, we’re-so-much-better-than-HBO business plan? Now’s your chance, and it might not come again. I hear Amazon’s gaining on you. But give us Season 2 today, and I might forget I signed up for Amazon Prime the other day.
Moments like this require someone who will act. So come on, Netflix. Don’t be useless. I have no patience for useless things.
TODAY IN SLATE
The Self-Made Man
The story of America’s most pliable, pernicious, irrepressible myth.
Does Your Child Have Sluggish Cognitive Tempo? Or Is That Just a Disorder Made Up to Scare You?
Mitt Romney May Be Weighing a 2016 Run. That Would Be a Big Mistake.
Amazing Photos From Hong Kong’s Umbrella Revolution
Rehtaeh Parsons Was the Most Famous Victim in Canada. Now, Journalists Can’t Even Say Her Name.
Transparent is the fall’s only great new show.
Lena Dunham, the Book
More shtick than honesty in Not That Kind of Girl.