The Results of Slate’s Summer Movies Contest!

Slate's Culture Blog
July 26 2013 7:01 PM

The Results of Slate’s Summer Movies Contest!

Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds star in "R.I.P.D.”
Slate readers imagined some spiritual sequels toR.I.P.D.

Photo Courtesy Scott Garfield/Universal Pictures

The Jeff Bridges/Ryan Reynolds vehicle R.I.P.D. may have been one of the most abysmal movies of the year so far (and bombed so badly at the box office that it’s figuring prominently in soul-searching think pieces about the ailing state of the special-effects-driven summer blockbuster), but I’ll be forever grateful to it for inspiring this year’s Slate Summer Movie Contest, in which I asked readers to come up with a movie title that folds together two or more acronyms  into a new “portmanteau acronym,” accompanied by a trailer-ready tagline.

Dana Stevens Dana Stevens

Dana Stevens is Slate's movie critic.

The responses I got were so numerous, and so consistently funny, that I practically had to throw a random dart at my full-to-bursting inbox to pick a winner from the many fine entries. So that you don’t have to miss out on all the LOLs and OMGs (not to mention numerous WTFs) I experienced while sorting through the lot, here’s a roundup of some of the cleverest/stupidest/most outlandish title-tagline combos that came in, ending with the one that brought all those qualities together to take the grand prize.

Advertisement

F.D.R.B.I.: The Yankees just made themselves a New Deal!
(Lewis Powell)

AWOLOL: They missed curfew, but made revelry.
(Domenick Bertelli)

MLK-9: The ghost of Martin Luther King comes back as a crime-fighting dog with a dream. Starring Eddie Murphy as you’ve never seen him before.
(Michael Harvey)

AIOU: If you borrow money from a robot, you’d better pay him back.
(Peter Wyetzner)

FUBARSVP: You are invited to witness your own destruction.
(Andi Atwater)

ADDOA: If they could pay attention, they’d know they’re already dead.
(Jonny Clinton)

CEOMG: This Valley girl’s at the top of the org chart.
(Jackson Vahaly)

FBIUD: A sexist FBI agent gains a deeper understanding of women when a killer’s curse transforms him into an IUD.
(Chris Gordon)

YOLOED: Can this uptight English prof ever find love with the slang-lovin’ bro who’s failing her class?
(Jay Wise)

 LGBTHC: They’re here! They’re queer! They totally spaced the parade.
(C.M. Gordon)

OBGYNRA: She brought you in. She will take you out.
(Allerton Mead)

OMGMO: This strain is going viral.
(Ami Schiffbauer)

EMTGIF: Better hope you don’t have that heart attack on a Friday.
(Laura Rappold)

After considerable deliberation, I decided to award the grand prize to this title and tagline from Evan Mackintosh, not least because the high-concept action movie he pitches (complete with casting suggestions!) is one I’d be excited to see:

KGBLT: In the 80s, he took orders from the Kremlin. Now he’s filling orders at a deli counter. Dolph Lundgren stars as Victor Gregorov, a former Soviet assassin who finds a new start in Queens, NY.

Evan, please email me your mailing address at slatemovies@gmail.com so I can regale you with some branded goodness from Slate’s supply closet. Everyone else who entered, including those who didn’t make the list above but nonetheless made me ROFLMAO: Thanks for playing, and see you next summer!

TODAY IN SLATE

Medical Examiner

The Most Terrifying Thing About Ebola 

The disease threatens humanity by preying on humanity.

I Bought the Huge iPhone. I’m Already Thinking of Returning It.

Scotland Is Just the Beginning. Expect More Political Earthquakes in Europe.

Students Aren’t Going to College Football Games as Much Anymore

And schools are getting worried.

Global Marches Demand Action on Climate Change

Politics

Blacks Don’t Have a Corporal Punishment Problem

Americans do. But when blacks exhibit the same behaviors as others, it becomes part of a greater black pathology. 

Why a Sketch of Chelsea Manning Is Stirring Up Controversy

How Worried Should Poland, the Baltic States, and Georgia Be About a Russian Invasion?

Moneybox
Sept. 19 2014 1:11 PM Americans' Inexplicable Aversion to the 1990s
  News & Politics
Weigel
Sept. 20 2014 11:13 AM -30-
  Business
Business Insider
Sept. 20 2014 6:30 AM The Man Making Bill Gates Richer
  Life
Quora
Sept. 20 2014 7:27 AM How Do Plants Grow Aboard the International Space Station?
  Double X
The XX Factor
Sept. 19 2014 4:58 PM Steubenville Gets the Lifetime Treatment (And a Cheerleader Erupts Into Flames)
  Slate Plus
Tv Club
Sept. 21 2014 1:15 PM The Slate Doctor Who Podcast: Episode 5  A spoiler-filled discussion of "Time Heist."
  Arts
Brow Beat
Sept. 21 2014 2:00 PM Colin Farrell Will Star in True Detective’s Second Season
  Technology
Future Tense
Sept. 19 2014 6:31 PM The One Big Problem With the Enormous New iPhone
  Health & Science
Bad Astronomy
Sept. 21 2014 8:00 AM An Astronaut’s Guided Video Tour of Earth
  Sports
Sports Nut
Sept. 18 2014 11:42 AM Grandmaster Clash One of the most amazing feats in chess history just happened, and no one noticed.