Given his hallucinations, blackouts, and apparently worsening alcoholism, there’s no guarantee that Don Draper will make it to the 1980s. And of course, Matthew Weiner is likely to end Mad Men before the series gets to that decade anyway. Fortunately for us, John McNamee, a comedian and contributor to the Onion, has created the frequently hilarious Twitter parody account @80sDonDraper. Don is no longer contending with the arrival of be-ins or a hip-swiveling Ann-Margaret; he’s now trying to convince clients that “The sooner you realize this is a post-Paula Abdul world, the sooner we can sell some Casios.”
Just as Weiner is obsessed with historically accurate details from the turbulent ’60s, so is McNamee intent on capturing the semi-forgotten ephemera of the ’80s—Draper-style. The account began back in April, with @80sDonDraper selling a client their next great ad slogan while simultaneously capturing some of the largest themes of Mad Men—typical Don. And while others have imagined what the show would look like in the ’70s (a decade that Season 7, which Weiner has said will be the last, may very well spill into), it’s even more fun to imagine that all the cheesy catchphrases and infamous products of the Reagan years might have been cooked up by still a morose, ever mysterious Don.
Even in the 1980s, Draper knows what kids want:
Teenagers want to be everything their parents aren't: mutants, ninjas, but most of all turtles.--; '80s Don Draper (@80sDonDraper) May 20, 2013
By telling the consumer to "Skip-it," we know they won't.--; '80s Don Draper (@80sDonDraper) April 24, 2013
He understands that consumerism is even easier to manipulate in a yuppie world:
We'll call them Members Only, but sell them to everyone.--; '80s Don Draper (@80sDonDraper) April 30, 2013
He still manages to project world-weary profundity for his potential clients:
All pursuits are trivial. Your board game’s just the only one with the guts to say it.--; '80s Don Draper (@80sDonDraper) May 17, 2013
And he can still speak to a sincere desire for a kind of collective American identity,when necessary:
Simon isn't about remembering a bunch of colors and sounds. It's about remembering who we are.--; '80s Don Draper (@80sDonDraper) May 13, 2013
If you’re wondering if 1980s Don indulges in the decade’s favorite illegal stimulant, McNamee says ... a bit. “Drink will always be Don’s first love,” he told TV Guide. “Though he does coke the rim of his margaritas.”
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