Welcome back to Slate’s caption contest. Post your captions—20 words or fewer—in the comments section.
Man commits suicide in bowl of milk after police reveal him to be a ‘cereal killer.’
Runner Up: Baron Wrangle
Extreme case of lactose intolerance propels man 80 feet into the air.
Runner Up 2: elbru
The only time when whole, non-homogenized, non-pasteurized milk is demonstrably better for one's health. Don't try this with skim.
Actual Caption: WADEBRIDGE, ENGLAND - JUNE 08: In this handout image provided by James Ram, Professor Splash, Darren Taylor, attempts a world record of diving from 30ft into 12inches of Cornish milk at the Royal Cornwall Show on June 8, 2012 near Wadebridge, England. The American stuntman visited the showground on the second day of the three day agricultural show. (James Ram/Getty Images)