Brow Beat

2011 Golden Globes: Pretty Much What You Expected

The 68thAnnual Golden Globe Awards a.k.a. the drunk Oscars aired last night on NBC.

While onealways hopes that the liberal application of gallons ofMoët will make the beautiful people of Hollywood spazout a bit , this year’s ceremony was relatively sedate. Of course, afterHelena Bonham Carter swanned down the red carpet lookinglike a pixie after a bender (do note the shoes, please) nothing was goingto seem all that surprising. (Othernotable looks included Tilda Swinton’s poofyseparates , Natalie Portman’s glitterybosom rose , and Scarlett Johansson’s Brideof Frankenstein hair . JanuaryJones, meanwhile, came dressed as avery sexy macramé wall hanging .)

ComedianRicky Gervais emceed the event, and the creeping sense that a celebrity was goingto clock him at any minute provided most of the evening’s excitement. Many of Gervais’szingers bypassed “edgy” and landed on “downright uncomfortable” like when he jokedabout having to “help” Philip Berk, the president of the Hollywood Foreign PressAssociation, “off the toilet and pop in his teeth.” Here’s his openingmonologue note the threatening look Johnny Depp shoots him around 1:58, afterGervais makes some uncharitable cracks about The Tourist . Who knew gum-chewing could look so threatening? Let’s not even talk about the disturbing Hugh Hefner bit.

Otherwise,the night proceeded with few surprises. Despite some truly bafflingnominations particularly in the best musical or comedy category, which included the dismally reviewed Burlesque and The Tourist the actual award winners were fairly predictable.

The Social Network took home three ofthe biggest film prizes: Best Motion Picture-Drama, Best Director, and BestScreenplay. The top film acting awards went to Annette Bening for The Kids Are All Right , Natalie Portmanfor Black Swan , and Colin Firth for The King’s Speech the only award thefilm won, despite its seven nominations.In something of an upset, Paul Giamatti beat Johnny Depp twice over, winningthe Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy award for Barney’s Version .

On the TVfront, Glee and Boardwalk Empire both had good nights, winning the Best Seriesawards and acting prizes for Jane Lynch, Chris Colfer, and Steve Buscemi. (Seethe full list of winnershere .)

Finally,some of the best moments from the speeches:

ChrisColfer, who won for his role as Kurt Hummel on Glee , gave a sweet, heartfelt acceptance that ended with a rousing”Screw that, kids.” (Lea Michele reprised this I’m-so-moved look several times during the telecast.)

I would havethought Natalie Portman was a wee bit tipsy while giving this speech (“Hetotally wants to sleep with me!”) but since she’s pregnant, I’m going to chalkit up to her being really excited, thinking about how she’s inching ever closerto an Oscar:

Lastly,Colin Firth managed to sound charmingly deadpan and Mr.Darcy-ish , even as he spoke of the “robust triangle of man love” betweenhimself, director Tim Hooper, and costar Geoffrey Rush, whom he also called, somewhatpuzzlingly, his “geisha girl.” [ Update, January 18 : A reader informs me that the “geisha girl” line alludes to a line in The King’s Speech , and not some secret fantasy of Colin Firth’s.]