"My God, These Are the Longest Games Ever"

Slate's Culture Blog
Jan. 4 2011 3:27 PM

"My God, These Are the Longest Games Ever"

When you watch a live broadcast on

Advertisement

—the online streaming complement to the sports network—you can sense the moment when the cable TV feed has gone to commercial and you're seeing (and hearing) footage you normally wouldn't. At the very end of last night's Orange Bowl, ESPN3 ran 20 seconds of slow-motion footage of Stanford's Jeremy Stewart running to glory over triumphant, about-to-go-to-commercial orchestral music. The announcers—color guys Ron Jaworski and Jon Gruden and play-by-play man Mike Tirico—were silent.



Stewart continued his slow sprint as I minimized the ESPN3 window on my laptop and checked my email. As the cable feed was still safely in commercial, I suddenly heard the commentators complain about the length of the game.



Here's the full transcript of their exchange:



(?):

"You owe me dinner, bro."


Tirico:

"Yep, no problem."


(coughing)

Gruden:

"Go ahead Jaws, have another lozenge."


Jaworski (celebratory):

"God dang, I made it!"


Gruden:

"My God, these are the longest games ever."


Jaworski:

"Holy cow."


Tirico:

"Wait 'til Monday."



Tirico is referring to Monday night's BCS national championship between Auburn and Oregon, a game that ESPN has been promoting as an exciting match-up of two explosive offenses—probably a better pitch than "Tune in for a four-hour slog that will last until Tuesday morning."

After the game, I searched "you owe me dinner bro" on Twitter to see if others had picked up on the gaffe. One guy attempted to initiate the hashtag #ESPN3FAIL , but it has yet to take off.

TODAY IN SLATE

Frame Game

Hard Knocks

I was hit by a teacher in an East Texas public school. It taught me nothing.

Chief Justice John Roberts Says $1,000 Can’t Buy Influence in Congress. Looks Like He’s Wrong.

After This Merger, One Company Could Control One-Third of the Planet's Beer Sales

Hidden Messages in Corporate Logos

If You’re Outraged by the NFL, Follow This Satirical Blowhard on Twitter

Sports Nut

Giving Up on Goodell

How the NFL lost the trust of its most loyal reporters.

How Can We Investigate Potential Dangers of Fracking Without Being Alarmist?

My Year as an Abortion Doula       

  News & Politics
Weigel
Sept. 16 2014 9:22 AM The Most Populist Campaign of 2014
  Business
Moneybox
Sept. 15 2014 7:27 PM Could IUDs Be the Next Great Weapon in the Battle Against Poverty?
  Life
Atlas Obscura
Sept. 16 2014 8:00 AM The Wall Street Bombing: Low-Tech Terrorism in Prohibition-era New York
  Double X
The XX Factor
Sept. 15 2014 3:31 PM My Year As an Abortion Doula
  Slate Plus
Tv Club
Sept. 15 2014 11:38 AM The Slate Doctor Who Podcast: Episode 4  A spoiler-filled discussion of "Listen."
  Arts
Brow Beat
Sept. 16 2014 9:13 AM Clive James, Terminally Ill, Has Written an Exquisitely Resigned Farewell Poem
  Technology
Future Tense
Sept. 16 2014 7:36 AM The Inspiration Drought Why our science fiction needs new dreams.
  Health & Science
Bad Astronomy
Sept. 16 2014 7:30 AM A Galaxy of Tatooines
  Sports
Sports Nut
Sept. 15 2014 9:05 PM Giving Up on Goodell How the NFL lost the trust of its most loyal reporters.