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When politicians are caught cheating, I'd wish they'd leave their wives in the green room while they address the press. You're in the dog house, and it should look that way.” At best, Option A means you were lied to along with the rest of the country; at worst, it means you knew about it and sucked it up for the sake of his career.
I keep going over and over the thought experiment in which a cuckolded man is forced to stand there and look aggrieved yet supportive while his bride cops to an affair. How would that play? Has it happened and I’ve repressed it?
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In defense of the political wives who go to the press conference, smile forced smiles, and say nothing:
Speaking (ahem) as a political wife myself, I can see one clear advantage to this option: It's all over quickly. And no one asks you for a follow-up interview. You appear once—and then you vanish forever, along with your husband's career. If you've been clever about it, you've kept your maiden name and can thus return to your own career. Those who make other, more attention-getting choices will later be forced back into the limelight to explain themselves, which is gruesome.
And you can, of course, quietly change the locks the next day. Though I hasten to add that I've never had to.
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Right here on Page 1 of the political-spouse handbook, it says that in event of scandal, you will show up, preferably in pearls, medicated if necessary, and manage at least a small smile while the father of your children explains that he never, ever meant to let you down. Oh, and it strongly suggests that unless he leaves you, you will stay married. Sometimes, you hear women in political life vow that would never be them—as when Louisiana Sen. David Vitter's wife, Wendy, said in 2000 that if her husband ever carried on the way Bill Clinton had, "I'm a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary. If he does something like that, I'm walking away with one thing, and it's not alimony, trust me.'' Last year, though, after Vitter was linked to the D.C. madam, she stepped right up to the microphone and said this: "David is my best friend. Some people said to me they wouldn't want to be in my shoes. I stand before you to say I am proud to be Wendy Vitter." Her business, of course, though like Hanna I'd like to think I'd say time for a new best friend. So, what is Hillary supposed to say about her governor? As voters seem to like her better when she's misty-eyed, wronged, or shaking her fist at the heavens, she might help herself by even glancingly referencing her own Silda Spitzer moments. But I really hope she doesn't—and for her, of course, the handbook no longer applies.
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They ALWAYS choose A. I've already informed my husband that if he gets caught being involved in a prostitution ring, gay, straight, or otherwise or even your average affair, the answer will be NOT A. It's sort of my version of a prenup.
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Normally I think Americans should tolerate more separation of sex and state when it comes to politics; I'm not convinced that sexual morality has much bearing on political judgment or efficacy. But when it comes to Spitzer, well, you nailed it, Hanna: Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. You can't make a career out of policing others' crimes while lapsing lustfully yourself. There are gonna be a lot of people out there glad to see Spitzer humbled (or humiliated) like this. Which almost makes me feel sympathetic.
Tim, you ask about Silda's decision to stand by her man: Marriages do create a wall between the public and the private. Though the feminist in me thinks there's no reason she should feel she had to stand by him—your Option B sounds pretty good to me—I can see how she might feel there is some honor in maintaining the public front while dealing privately with the fallout. Marriage is a funny institution that way. The bonds between husband and wife are so complex that it can take a while to sort out where one's loyalty to oneself and to your partner overlap or diverge.
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A guest post from our colleague Tim Noah, who presents us with an important question.
Your governor husband is going to a press conference to announce that he got caught in a prostitution ring. He asks you to come with him to show moral support. Do you say
a) "Of course, sweetheart"
b) "Not a chance, you son-of-a-bitch."
c) "I'd love to, hon, but my favorite soap is on."
d) "Goody. I have a few things I'd like to say, and I don't care who hears it."
e) "No, and I'll be changing the locks while you're gone."
It seems to me that the only answer here that is plainly incorrect is "a." But apparently that's what Silda chose.
OK, let's hear what everyone thinks.
Update: Read what the XXers' answers to Tim's question here. Read the whole Spitzer conversation here.
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