The XX Factor: What women really think.



  • I'm Just Not That Into Your Televised Family


    I want to welcome Willa Paskin, who comes to the XX Factor from dear departed Radar magazine, where she covered high and low culture with equal enthusiasm. I agree with Willa on the He's Just Not That Into You pheonomenon: It always seemed bizarre to me that the book, and now the movie, are marketed as empowering. Since when does inaction make you feel in control? It's ultimately the same philosophy behind The Rules, just covered in a lacquer of sass.

    Elisheva, I sort of disagree with you that no one should judge the Duggars and the Gosselins. They have made the active choice to portray their bulging broods on television. It's the same way I feel about tell-all memoirs. The writers of such memoirs, like the Duggars and the Gosselins, are airing their laundry to a public for a fee, and that puts their choices on an elevated cultural plane. Maybe in an ideal world, no one would judge their parenting choices, but when those choices are broadcast to millions, isn't audience judgment— which is to say, forming an opinion—the entire point?

  • Big Family Values


    Michelle Duggar gave birth to her 18th child this week. The megamom is something of an icon in homeschooling and Quiverfull circles, but whenever I see her in the news, on the Today show, or on her family's numerous reality-TV shows and specials, I find myself frustrated.

    I don't yet and may never have kids, but I do like them and respect the decision to have a big family if you're up to the challenge. But the Duggars bug, primarily because of their sanctimony. They talk about being debt-free as if it's a moral issue and brag about caring for the large family thanks to living frugally, but they also generate income from rental properties and, no doubt, from their TV shows and their recently released book. It seems dishonest to suggest that everyone can afford their lifestyle if they shop in thrift stores and buy in bulk when that's not what, presumably, actually keeps the Duggars financially afloat. Furthermore, while I respect their right to hold incredibly conservative views on dating (no kissing before marriage! handholding only when engaged!), gender roles, and childbearing, I hate the reverence for Michelle Duggar as some sort of supermom. According to their TV show, weaned babies are handed off to older children, usually the teenage girls, who cook all the food, do the laundry, and do the cleaning in addition to taking care of their "buddies." It seems that they do most of the work while their mother collects the glory. The girls say that they enjoy their lives and that people who think they're too sheltered should "get over it," but I wonder how many options they truly have.

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