The XX Factor: What women really think.

With Memories Like These

But What About Thanks For the Memories?

Dahlia and Melinda, here's what I don't get. Yes, there have been moments of excess and misfire in Hillary's campaign--gender traitor, J'accuse moments. I haven't liked them, either. (And this latest from Erica Jong is a doozy.) But it wasn't all Robin Morgan, Gloria Steinem, emotional blackmail, and martyrdom. Was it? In fact, I don't think Hillary 2008 mostly or even substantially stands for those things. She has been on her game in every debate I've seen. She consistently shows better mastery of policy details than anyone else in the field. She has smart and thoughtful and comprehensive positions on the issues I think we all care about.

And there's also this: As David Greenberg points out today in Slate, working-class people have been supporting her presumably becasue they remember the first Clinton administration as better times, and trust her to take them there again. Shouldn't we celebrate all of that, and thread it into our memories of this campaign season, rather than making it all about the appearances of feminism-wielded-as-battle-ax? Those moments have been enthralling and instructive, yes, but I just don't think there were enough of those to justify the overall characterization, or to come close to erasing the good this campaign has done for women.

Running for president is utterly exhausting and awful. No one pulls it off with utter grace (not even Obama).  She has had to walk through the gender prism every step of the way, and yes sometimes she stumbles and sometimes she feels sorry for herself. OK. This week, at least, I'm ready to ease up on her.

Always With the Drama

When Hillary Clinton tugs on me, Emily and Hanna, it is usually not in a good way. Sometimes I do feel sorry for her, but I can't imagine casting a pity vote for president. Nor do I want to be guilted, frightened, fooled, or worn down to the point that I'll agree to anything. I do think her health-care plan is marginally better than Barack Obama's. But I'm not sure why I owe her anything for running a campaign that makes it look like the default mode for a woman, even with all of her advantages and abilities, is martyrdom and emotional blackmail. Where oh where is the feminism in the Evita model?  

All Hat, No Cattle

When Hillary lost Iowa I started to regret my Obama allegiance (though I recovered by the New York primary) because I'm a sucker for the underdog. But now I find Hillary-as-loser a major turnoff. She really hasn't mastered the art of the concession speech.

At her El Paso rally last night she didn't congratulate Obama and failed to officially concede defeat (or did I miss something?). In fact, she only mentioned her opponent by name to criticize his health care plan. I also found her riff on the old "all hat, no cattle" joke a little off; she said "after seven years of George Bush we need a lot less hat and a lot more cattle!" Obviously she meant Obama's all talk, whereas she would bring home the bacon, or something. She also clearly meant to suggest that Obama is like the current president, which made me shudder. I hate to say this but last night it was Hillary who reminded me of W. - she can't admit her weak points and goes on the attack too much.

Hillary Is Losing Women

I don't think the point is that women are not responding to her the way African-American voters are responding to Obama—though that is true—but that no demographic is responding to her as it is to him. The guy won every income group, the Catholic swing-voters everybody said he'd have trouble with, independents by a mile, and Latinos. Which is a blow to identity politics but not, as I see it, to women; on the contrary, isn't it a testament to how far we've come that just because she is a woman doesn't mean she's automatically our woman? Yesterday, when a friend of mine said she didn't understand how any woman could decide not to support Hillary, all I could think was that that made no more sense to me than if she'd said she didn't understand not voting for the white person.

What We Owe Hillary

Since the Iowa caucuses, I've been feeling the Hillary tug. Most of the women I've talked to in the last couple of months have felt it, too: Even if they weren't sure they'd vote for Hillary, they were rooting for her on some level. They wanted her to make a strong showing. They didn't want the girl who worked hard to lose willy-nilly to the guy who waltzed in. Those feelings must have helped bring more women than men to the polls in state after state, almost always in favor of Hillary.

But you know what? The tug doesn't feel the same to me now. I wonder if that's true for other Democratic women who could have gone either way, too. If Obama's margins are wide enough to carry women in Maryland and Virginia and D.C.tonight—and so far, according to the exit polls, he has the majority of women in Virginia, by a lot—maybe this shift will help explain why. Hillary has been an excellent first for us. No one else could have done what she's done, with all her aplomb and professionalism and seriousness. But she doesn't have to be the nominee, or the president, to have come through. She hung in there past every other contender, save one. She made it to the finals, the last round, overtime—whatever sports metaphor you want to use. I don't mean to suggest that she's done. But if she loses for good in the next weeks or months, she loses with dignity and heft and heart. And she'd leave us feeling, in a way I know I've never felt before, that a woman can be elected president. We already owe her. We'd owe her for that, too. Even if we don't owe her, or give her, our votes.

Read more posts about Hillary's losses in Maryland, Virginia, and D.C.