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    Reality-TV Star Possibly a Jerk

    Posted Tuesday, March 03, 2009 3:36 PM | By Willa Paskin
    Last night was an eventful one for television: Twitchy Fallon officially joined the White Dudes With Monologues club and a revitalized The Bachelor had its "dramatic" finale, sending a certain segment of the population—women who can still tolerate the show—into a tizzy. This has been a comeback season for ABC's long-running dating program, which, to my mind, provides one of the ultimate dichotomies in present-day American life—red or blue? Rich or poor? Someone who believes you can find love on The Bachelor or someone who does not? This season's resurgence has been credited to the fact that the bachelor in question, sweet and dull Jason Mesnick, a one-time runner-up on The Bachelorette, has a son. After all, it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a toddler must be in want of a wife (as opposed to football players, princes, heirs, and navy men, who are maybe just after some tail). Plus, any man with a little kid, even the kind of man who would put that kid on national television, can't be a total cad, right? Wrong.

    On last night's finale, Jason proposed to cheerful former cheerleader Melissa. They were so happy they declared their love for each other multiple times and then jumped into a horizonless pool with all of their clothes on. But then, on the After the Rose Ceremony special that airs immediately following the finale, but was filmed six weeks later, Jason explained that something had "changed." When the cameras left, apparently so did their chemistry (one of the most interesting things about The Bachelor has always been trying to find the sex between the platitudes; maybe it just wasn't any good?), and now all Jason can do is think about Molly, the big-eyed lady (chicks on The Bachelor are exclusively referred to as girls, never women) he'd thrown over in the finale. Melissa got mad ("You bastard"), Jason cried (again and again and again) and then made a play for Molly, who accepted his apologies and smooches. Adding another layer of absurdity to all this "drama" is that the Molly-for-Melissa switcheroo had been very accurately predicted weeks and weeks ago by one very dedicated, uhm, reporter, named Reality Steve (so popular this day after that his site appears to have crashed).

    All this pre-wife swapping has pissed off some longtime Bachelor watchers, who now think Jason is a jerk and that the show has been wantonly cruel to Melissa. I'm honestly impressed by these folks continued ability to be shocked by reality TV's manipulations—their faith runs deep—but I suspect this evening's interview with Jason and Molly (After, After the Final Rose or something) will assuage their anger. The route might have been circuitous, but the program's delivering its happy ending, as promised. This show's gonna make it to 25 seasons easy.
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