The XX Factor: What women really think.

Mom in Chief-Elect

Jodi Kantor has a piece in the Times today examining our first family-elect's "acute awareness" that everything they do "will brim with symbolic value." She's mainly talking about what they will represent racially, of course.  But that's not the whole story: I can't stop thinking about Michelle Obama's declaration last week that her plan was to become "mom in chief." I get that ensuring her kids have a semi-normal life inside the White House will be consuming. And I have no issue with her decision to leave her job, saying that all the attention paid and access granted to a first lady can help her accomplish more than her job could. She's right, though I did love the idea of a first lady with a full-time job—but, I admit, only for its "symbolic value." What I don't get is why, if she's aware of what she represents, and if her chief interest is helping working parents, this mom-in-chief title is acceptable.

The accepted wisdom that she had to soften her career-dynamo image to reach voters angered me. I don't think for a moment that Michelle's high-powered-working-mother story would have broken this election. Furthermore, these sorts of political trade-offs perpetuate the perception that this nation can't handle the notion of women whose work has major value, just as their parenting does. Now that Obama has won, will Michelle, aware of all she represents, choose to portray her successful career as something to celebrate, or as a dirty secret? She can be so much more than just a fashion icon if she gives up the "Mom" label and instead chooses to be the woman I fell for before the primary season stripped her of the identity. "When people ask Michelle Obama to describe herself, she doesn't hesitate. First and foremost, she is Malia and Sasha's mom," the campaign Web site says. Now that this election is over, I hope once again we'll get to see her as so much more.