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Waiting To Exhale
I was not one of those people who cried when I heard Obama's now-famous speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention. Nor did I find it so spectacularly brilliant as to be beyond any critical analysis. I thought it was a really good speech, but I also felt it was too laden with buzz words meant to signal that he was indeed a different kind of black candidate. When he said: "There's not a black America and white America ... there's the United States of America," and the crowd went wild, I disagreed. We all know that there are two very distinct Americas separated by class and color. I understood that people embraced the speech because its sense of optimism went right to the heart of American idealism—not American realism.
I also did not get all warm and teary about Obama's Philadelphia speech last March. It was an important and necessary speech, for sure; but again, I found it too calculated and believe it was mostly meant to appease white voter anxiety about the Jeremiah Wright controversy and assuage fears that Obama might be a closet racist and black militant.
As I watched Obama's speech last night, however, I could not stop crying, and I was surprised by my reaction. It, too, was clearly a carefully scripted, political speech. So why did it crack through my cynical and hardened heart? Because it allowed me to take a deep breath of relief.
I've been holding my breath throughout the primary campaign, waiting with dread for his candidacy to implode—for him to be struck down by scandal, dirty political tricks, racism, a media obsessed with his being "the first black man" with a realistic chance at the presidency. And, of course, I thought the Clinton Machine might take him down. Seeing him on that stage yesterday, regal in his bearing, unapologetic for having stuck to his audacity of hope, knowing he had won a battle he fought hard for and won fairly, and with dignity and grace—two words that can no longer be ascribed to the Clinton candidacy—made me deeply hopeful. That's why I cried. I felt happy for him, for us, for this country. Yesterday's speech not only went to the heart of American idealism, it also wrote a new narrative for American realism. Whether Obama wins or loses in the fall, we all won something special yesterday.
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